(no subject)
uhm... i'm pretty much going to die from lack of sleep. i think i've become more dependant on my sleeping pills since i got home. my eyes hurt & i have a headache & i feel nauseous from not sleeping. & i'm pretty sure i haven't pooped all day & that really sucks because i ♥ taking shits. i also went to starbucks way too many times today & now 2 different starbucks are trying to hire me & i might apply but i feel like a bitch because they practically begged me to take an application & i was like "okay i guess..." so i probably seemed like a really big douche & if i ever get around to actually applying they'll be like "oh... probably not." i need some money in my life though, because i'm 100% poor again. $400 aint shit. i'm PUMPED to take french, even if it is at fcc. eww, i love... being better than everyone else. probably not but i just realized how idiotic a lot of people are. it is a really big ego boost. this is probably going to be the longest entry of all time since i can't sleep & i have nothing better to do. i'm kind of getting frusterated just repeatedly looking at my marcel duchamp book. holy fuck i want to have sex. i've pretty much decided the backspace key no longer exists. i keep hallucinating little bugs flying everywhere. at least i hope i'm just hallucinating them. wow... i wish it weren't so easy to... not do what i'm supposed to be doing. you'd think someone would hold me a little more accountable for going to iop & meetings. ugh i have pinback in my head. i have no good cds @ my mom's. ugh i have a killer stomach ache. literally killer, it's probably going to KILL me. i'm wearing jean shorts. i feel like a big ho bag. but i love it. i should probably go out in public like this. everyone will want to do me. i make a lot of empty promises, it seems. not empty at the time, i guess.. my intentions are always good but i just have a really hard time following through with things. and i don't have a lot of character or integrity, really. if i do something nice for some one, it's more of an intellectual decision, like... it seems like the "right" thing to do or i'm just being selfish probably. eww i just farted & it smells. its cold. my veins are tormenting me. i'm glad i don't take things too seriously as much anymore. because i just realized how dumb people seem when they can't laugh at themselves. i bet i'm going to look back at this entry in the near future & think about what an ass i am. i bet... uhm... i forget. that's probably all i have to say. ♥