so i took a nap for about 1,385 years

Apr 30, 2006 19:14

sigh. this weekend was heavy. i had missed skylar; i thought that her coming up for another weekend would at least lighten the tension that had been growing between us a little. and i was stoked that chris would get to see humboldt in all it's beautiful peaceful graceful glory. instead, the girl that i was proud to call my best friend even though we were 300 miles apart, for most of the time, came to me a stranger. i was disappointed. not in her, surely, for people change. i was disappointed because i had expected something that now, i see, was utterly impossible. how can you find a thread that's been buried beneath time-sand, let alone pick it up where it was last dropped? i couldn't even talk to her. whenever i tried to speak with her, i felt like i was speaking to a wall with eyes. i thought that having my heart-sister come up would ease my loneliness; instead, i only discovered how lonely i really am. i don't mean to dramatize anything. i'm just sorry i lied to myself.
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