God...
I think I've tried to write how I feel like a million times.
He's back. I knew that call to Mom would do it. I was being stupid, and now look what's happened.
It's like I was 13 again, just like before. He's exactly the same. And...Oh God, they don't know. None of them know. He won't stop until he's got me. He won't. The stupid Council could tell him to back off and he'll still come. He told me he would and he did. I know he's got people. I can feel them watching me when it's dark.
Everyone's trying to be so reassuring, and I wish I could feel safe here, but right now, I don't feel like anywhere's safe. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I don't want to watch TV or listen to music or...I just want silence. I want the world to stop. I want it gone, like it was. I want to be alone, but when I am I want someone there.
Taylor, he's drawing me pictures and stuff. He asked me to go swimming, but I freaked at the thought of going outside. I just want to tell everyone to hide away for ten years. Maybe he'll drop off by then.
*chokes back tears* And they want to kill him, I know they do. There's something so stupid and right there in me...I don't want them to kill him. I want him to go away, not be dead. I keep wondering, is it easier if I just go back with him? They could all end up dead if I don't.
I just...God, I don't know what to do. And there have been demons left and right bothering Lorne, and Dylan wants me to sing for him. We're having a meeting tomorrow, and I keep thinking that some guys in black are going to shoot down Des and Gabe on their way over.
Maybe I should just run away again. Take a bus out of here and go north. Maybe I should just go back to San Diego; they'd never think I'd go back there...
He's back. I knew that call to Mom would do it. I was being stupid, and now look what's happened.
It's like I was 13 again, just like before. He's exactly the same. And...Oh God, they don't know. None of them know. He won't stop until he's got me. He won't. The stupid Council could tell him to back off and he'll still come. He told me he would and he did. I know he's got people. I can feel them watching me when it's dark.
Everyone's trying to be so reassuring, and I wish I could feel safe here, but right now, I don't feel like anywhere's safe. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I don't want to watch TV or listen to music or...I just want silence. I want the world to stop. I want it gone, like it was. I want to be alone, but when I am I want someone there.
Taylor, he's drawing me pictures and stuff. He asked me to go swimming, but I freaked at the thought of going outside. I just want to tell everyone to hide away for ten years. Maybe he'll drop off by then.
*chokes back tears* And they want to kill him, I know they do. There's something so stupid and right there in me...I don't want them to kill him. I want him to go away, not be dead. I keep wondering, is it easier if I just go back with him? They could all end up dead if I don't.
I just...God, I don't know what to do. And there have been demons left and right bothering Lorne, and Dylan wants me to sing for him. We're having a meeting tomorrow, and I keep thinking that some guys in black are going to shoot down Des and Gabe on their way over.
Maybe I should just run away again. Take a bus out of here and go north. Maybe I should just go back to San Diego; they'd never think I'd go back there...