Carrion
I've been crying for a while now. I tried to stop, but it's like someone let open a swelling flood gate. It's all pouring out, and it's probably enough to drown the city. I'm sure a lot of people feel that way right now. Brooke died. She was going to be this huge movie star, and now she's just another body on the pile of people good couldn't save. Rhia called a while ago to let us know that the stalker was a demon and had killed her in her own trailer. Must've been like dying in your own home after all the time she'd spent on the movie...
Everyone's a wreck. Dylan and Matt and everyone were so much closer to her than I was, I can only imagine what they're going through. But I see their grief, and I can feel in the air. I can't say that it doesn't affect me, too. It's just that...
In Sunnydale, I was just singing and screaming (and almost burning to a crisp) to Giles about choices. The choices we have as, I dunno, heroes. The ones we have to choose our paths. Now all I can think is what choice did Brooke have? No one had a vision, no one had any warning, no one had the chance to choose to save her. She couldn't even choose to save herself. If we make our own paths, make life what we want it, then why do people have to die like that, especially those close to us, when every tool and method is at our disposal? Who the hell would choose that?
I'm feeling more and more that we don't have any choices. It so feels like someone else is controlling us. Maybe the Powers got tired of free will and want to turn this game back into chess, because right now I'm feeling like a damn pawn. Des must be beyond frustrated right now.
*shakes her head, and wipes her face with a tissue* I'm so used to people consoling me about stuff. This time, I'm the one who got out the least hurt. I should go find Galen and be there for everyone else. They need a crack in their armor, to let someone else be strong for them for a chance. Everybody needs to break down sometime. God, I just wish it could've been over something else.
Everyone's a wreck. Dylan and Matt and everyone were so much closer to her than I was, I can only imagine what they're going through. But I see their grief, and I can feel in the air. I can't say that it doesn't affect me, too. It's just that...
In Sunnydale, I was just singing and screaming (and almost burning to a crisp) to Giles about choices. The choices we have as, I dunno, heroes. The ones we have to choose our paths. Now all I can think is what choice did Brooke have? No one had a vision, no one had any warning, no one had the chance to choose to save her. She couldn't even choose to save herself. If we make our own paths, make life what we want it, then why do people have to die like that, especially those close to us, when every tool and method is at our disposal? Who the hell would choose that?
I'm feeling more and more that we don't have any choices. It so feels like someone else is controlling us. Maybe the Powers got tired of free will and want to turn this game back into chess, because right now I'm feeling like a damn pawn. Des must be beyond frustrated right now.
*shakes her head, and wipes her face with a tissue* I'm so used to people consoling me about stuff. This time, I'm the one who got out the least hurt. I should go find Galen and be there for everyone else. They need a crack in their armor, to let someone else be strong for them for a chance. Everybody needs to break down sometime. God, I just wish it could've been over something else.