feeling kinda mellow
so....i ate 4 table spoons full of white boiled rice...bout 15 minutes ago.....after my 67 hour fast, i eat fucking rice!!!! im so stupid, so unbelievably STUPID!!!! oh well, shit happens (gives me more insentive for tomorro)
hsc on atm. double fuck...my exams are soon.....nnnnoooOOOO
I didn't end up getting any meth off kurt...thank god...im so stupid!!! i was gunna do meth!!! what the fuck is wrong with me???? (hits self over the head with tablespoon)
i love feeling dizzy....i love feeling like im gliding across the ground instead of walking, i love how my dreams seem so real- so sharp, i love how my breath always catchs in my throat, i loove the concaveness of my belly, i love feeling ribs, i love seeing jutting hipbones, i love seeing my collarbones emerging more and more everyday, i love seeing cheekbones and defined jawlines....i love peoples 'concerned' coments...fuck i love that!!!!
but
i hate feeling cold 24 FUCKING 7, i hate that my hands sometimes uncontrolably shake( so fucking embarrassing!!) i hate that my hair is so lifeless atm, i hate that my dark green eyes have gone really light and dull, i hate that my knees fucking kill, i hate the fact that i have only had about 15 hours sleep in the past week (insomnia's a bitch) that sux
ahhhh, the pros and cons of ANA....u gotta love it!
hsc on atm. double fuck...my exams are soon.....nnnnoooOOOO
I didn't end up getting any meth off kurt...thank god...im so stupid!!! i was gunna do meth!!! what the fuck is wrong with me???? (hits self over the head with tablespoon)
i love feeling dizzy....i love feeling like im gliding across the ground instead of walking, i love how my dreams seem so real- so sharp, i love how my breath always catchs in my throat, i loove the concaveness of my belly, i love feeling ribs, i love seeing jutting hipbones, i love seeing my collarbones emerging more and more everyday, i love seeing cheekbones and defined jawlines....i love peoples 'concerned' coments...fuck i love that!!!!
but
i hate feeling cold 24 FUCKING 7, i hate that my hands sometimes uncontrolably shake( so fucking embarrassing!!) i hate that my hair is so lifeless atm, i hate that my dark green eyes have gone really light and dull, i hate that my knees fucking kill, i hate the fact that i have only had about 15 hours sleep in the past week (insomnia's a bitch) that sux
ahhhh, the pros and cons of ANA....u gotta love it!