from friday

[_ghal]

ahhh today is my first day of work i wish i had a car it was raining earlier and i wish it kept going i love thunderstorms especially standing or walking about in them. i think i'm going to curl my hair for work and posssiblyyy paint something because i miss working on things. ohhhhhhh summmerr. it is nice to be home i have nothing to worry about at all and i like to be in my room and i like to feel alone because whenever i have to be in a crowd i get really really nervous. i don't want anything to happen i want it all to be okay. yesterday i sat in traffic for about 45 minutes traffic is a nice place to be sitting in i like it when i'm all by myself. i started thinking about where the idea of happily ever after and prince charming came from. why did they think of that? was there a true story or is it some kind of wish. like people wish for things but where does that idea start out at? is it wanting more or is there something actually better out there in reality? i don't know. bluish is a really good song to ride a bike tooooo oh gosh i totally didn't ride my bike yesterday ack well i kind of like riding my bike with somebody else. i like going places. yes i need to do the paintings for our nautical themed bathroom. and then hopefully some drawings/paintings of girls in pudica poses. pale pale girls with no irises or pupils and i do this because of my interest in those roman busts. they don't carve the details into the eyeballs which i like. they look wise. then there is nothing there where are they looking and those supposed windows to the soul are none of your business then they are closed off. i like the mystery. and it's upsetting sometimes when people don't grasp the concept of your piece you start to wonder if they even care or if it's just the surface well stop because you need to look beyond that because there is nothing but skimming and toe touching without drowning yourself in the meaning.
today is my first day of work i am nervous and excited and i hope i don't mumble.

i'm going to have to buy a pro account for flickr, i'd also like some kind of new lense or something for my camera. it's a rebel xt, and all these new things are coming out and i'd kind of like a nikon but ehhhhh. and i think i'll just see if i can work at a.c. moore so i can just bike to work and don't have to worry about a car because i don't have one. ah geez.