A Day of Deeds Unspeakable...But Spoken Here
First off, I would like to say that the worst physical torment possible would have to be the migrane head ache. I'm only going to stare at this screen for so long, long enough to finnish this entry into what is promising to be my salvation, then I'm off to some Tylonal PM and some much needed rest.
Today...Today proved to be one of my more better days. I talked with a very good friend for over an hour and a half, and it was the highlight. It was after I got off the phone, went to my father's house, and was there for about a half an hour, when I decided to have a cigarette. Needless to say I was shocked when I found that the entire pack (a whole one, I might add) had been chewed up by my father's Boxer, Storm...Who would like to guess as to how that made me feel and how I retaliated? I had to smoke Red's the remainder of my time there. I stayed until my brother's got home then came back here, to my house.
This was about the time that the head ache started showing it's unnecissary preasence. So, I blamed it on hunger. I hadn't eaten since nine a.m. and it was now close to four o'clock. I made a sandwhich and as I sat down to eat, my Grandmother's walked through the door. Mamaw wanted to cook Pork Chops. A delicacy around here, and also one of my favorites. Did the head ache got worse? Uh huh...Am I beeing to detailed? Get over it.
I returned to Dad's house, to play City of Hero's (a fantastic game. Highly recomended for all you gammer's that will read this) for a little while longer, but was cut short thanks to the intollerable attitude and hateful presence of my little brother, Austin, who thinks he is the only one that can ever be on the computer that they all have to...supposedly...share. Sometimes it's a good thing to be ninteen. Never the less, he was hurt in a scuffle, and started engaging in a supirior, and boy was it ever insolent, tone that said and I quote "Your not the boss!" Head was hurting pretty bad by now, and especialy sensitive to sound, raised voices in particular, and was not tollorated. I told him that there wasn't any need to be a dick head, calm as I am for all of you that know me personaly, and proceeded to let the matter drop. He insisted that Father become involved...Oh my head...He calls Father at work to "tell" on me. The line was busy (LMFAO) and that made my head feel better. Not that Father would have yelled at me or took his side. It was just the hassle of having to explain what had went on. I came back home and let his insubordinate little cheeky ass have the computer.
Home. A fresh pot of coffee. My nerves are a little frayed by this point, so I probobly shouldn't have injested much caffine at this point, but then I reolize I have no cigarettes. Off to the store! That was a nice drive, but it was weird not having the volume level at twenty-three. That's pretty loud in my truck. Some of you know...
Back with cigarettes and a Yohoo (yumm) Star Trek time! I headed to my Uncle's, where one can find any Star Trek episode or movie their heart desires. Pure bliss, on my part. Well, maybe not exactly PURE bliss, but it was pretty damn close. That wiled away the hours, but the head ache wouldn't go away. Scott, my uncle, comes home from church and watches an episode or two with me, with our usual game of random scinarios of what might they do, then has to prepare to go to the Jail for Third shift.
Here I am now, on the computer, complaining to the internet and this astonishing peice of technology that's allowing me to do it! My head hurts so bad...Do you know why I keep mentioning my head ache? No? I guess it's about time I told you. I would endure this head ache for ten, fifteen, twenty, a hundred years and it would never compare to the constant driving torment of my thoughts into every fiber of my beeing making me want to destroy everything I come into contact with, if I thought that it would make someone else have to suffer one iota less than they are right now. This is the price I am paying for spiritual fulfilment, and it is a right one. My muscles ache and harden, I have no energy or sex life, a poor psychological state because I hardly ever get to see any of my friends, especialy the person I care most about at this point in my life and, finaly, I can't seem to keep one thought in my head long enough to order all the rest of them so meditation is next to impossible. Hmmm...
Ugh, I'm sorry everyone. My entries won't all be like this or the one before. I'm just having a rough time right now. I'm still human, you know, as much as some of you would like to believe otherwise. lol. I, myself, don't see how I have much room to complain. I don't have a job or bills, no car payment or insurance, homework or tests to worry about (though I would love some *knocks on wood*) or any of the things related to adult-life stress. Anyone wanna tell me what my malfunction is? I'll tell ya...It's cause I'm the biggest LOSER I know...Except for that one guy, whoever he is...
P.S. I'm the worst speller of all time. Fuck it...
Fin
Today...Today proved to be one of my more better days. I talked with a very good friend for over an hour and a half, and it was the highlight. It was after I got off the phone, went to my father's house, and was there for about a half an hour, when I decided to have a cigarette. Needless to say I was shocked when I found that the entire pack (a whole one, I might add) had been chewed up by my father's Boxer, Storm...Who would like to guess as to how that made me feel and how I retaliated? I had to smoke Red's the remainder of my time there. I stayed until my brother's got home then came back here, to my house.
This was about the time that the head ache started showing it's unnecissary preasence. So, I blamed it on hunger. I hadn't eaten since nine a.m. and it was now close to four o'clock. I made a sandwhich and as I sat down to eat, my Grandmother's walked through the door. Mamaw wanted to cook Pork Chops. A delicacy around here, and also one of my favorites. Did the head ache got worse? Uh huh...Am I beeing to detailed? Get over it.
I returned to Dad's house, to play City of Hero's (a fantastic game. Highly recomended for all you gammer's that will read this) for a little while longer, but was cut short thanks to the intollerable attitude and hateful presence of my little brother, Austin, who thinks he is the only one that can ever be on the computer that they all have to...supposedly...share. Sometimes it's a good thing to be ninteen. Never the less, he was hurt in a scuffle, and started engaging in a supirior, and boy was it ever insolent, tone that said and I quote "Your not the boss!" Head was hurting pretty bad by now, and especialy sensitive to sound, raised voices in particular, and was not tollorated. I told him that there wasn't any need to be a dick head, calm as I am for all of you that know me personaly, and proceeded to let the matter drop. He insisted that Father become involved...Oh my head...He calls Father at work to "tell" on me. The line was busy (LMFAO) and that made my head feel better. Not that Father would have yelled at me or took his side. It was just the hassle of having to explain what had went on. I came back home and let his insubordinate little cheeky ass have the computer.
Home. A fresh pot of coffee. My nerves are a little frayed by this point, so I probobly shouldn't have injested much caffine at this point, but then I reolize I have no cigarettes. Off to the store! That was a nice drive, but it was weird not having the volume level at twenty-three. That's pretty loud in my truck. Some of you know...
Back with cigarettes and a Yohoo (yumm) Star Trek time! I headed to my Uncle's, where one can find any Star Trek episode or movie their heart desires. Pure bliss, on my part. Well, maybe not exactly PURE bliss, but it was pretty damn close. That wiled away the hours, but the head ache wouldn't go away. Scott, my uncle, comes home from church and watches an episode or two with me, with our usual game of random scinarios of what might they do, then has to prepare to go to the Jail for Third shift.
Here I am now, on the computer, complaining to the internet and this astonishing peice of technology that's allowing me to do it! My head hurts so bad...Do you know why I keep mentioning my head ache? No? I guess it's about time I told you. I would endure this head ache for ten, fifteen, twenty, a hundred years and it would never compare to the constant driving torment of my thoughts into every fiber of my beeing making me want to destroy everything I come into contact with, if I thought that it would make someone else have to suffer one iota less than they are right now. This is the price I am paying for spiritual fulfilment, and it is a right one. My muscles ache and harden, I have no energy or sex life, a poor psychological state because I hardly ever get to see any of my friends, especialy the person I care most about at this point in my life and, finaly, I can't seem to keep one thought in my head long enough to order all the rest of them so meditation is next to impossible. Hmmm...
Ugh, I'm sorry everyone. My entries won't all be like this or the one before. I'm just having a rough time right now. I'm still human, you know, as much as some of you would like to believe otherwise. lol. I, myself, don't see how I have much room to complain. I don't have a job or bills, no car payment or insurance, homework or tests to worry about (though I would love some *knocks on wood*) or any of the things related to adult-life stress. Anyone wanna tell me what my malfunction is? I'll tell ya...It's cause I'm the biggest LOSER I know...Except for that one guy, whoever he is...
P.S. I'm the worst speller of all time. Fuck it...
Fin