hello old friend...
After I had dropped Jennet off at her house the feeling of dissapointment, possibly even resentment began to arise inside of me. My stomach was rumbling and my contacts were begining to iritate me further. After making a snack of whole wheat crackers and humus i climb to my stairs yearning for my bed but detoured to the sink to take out my thin lenses, thinking perhaps thats all i needed to change in order to see her differently. I simply took them out, putting them in their container as i added the solution, thinking I could be quite content never changing them. I debated brushing my teeth and realized i should as i thought about another girl whose rotting teeth made my stomach turn.
Jennet was beautiful but was she intelligent? what was it that cause our conversation to strain so much as we sat over beverages, she drinking coffee with cream maybe sugar (i never bothered to ask(I could never be my normal pretentious self in front of her)) and i a decaffenated tea, no cream or sugar. I see her once maybe twice a year, perhaps i am lying to myself that this time was worse than ever. Hadn't i felt such fleeting moments of meloncholia mixed with love as i drove away in hopes of never seeing that wretched car again, only to slow down for one last look at her short black hair and smooth face.
No she wasn't different than that time, maybe it was me. I couldn't place my finger on it quite yet. We didn't care for each other perhaps we even bored each other but i had to get out as she flipped through her journal containing numerous notes and pictures that made me slightly envious but hardly jealous as i sat across from her at the oak table with the single black placematt in the center. I turned the corner of the place matt to the other side to find it was red and thought what would have unravelled if there was a little more passion in either of us or if mearly the red side was facing up. I grinned and nodded like a fool listening to everything she had to say about herself but really nothing was said. I didn't forget all times she complained aabout the pseudo intellectual conversations she was forced to put up with in boston and now all i could think about was how that would be better than this experience. I dropped her off this time and drove away knowing no one would be following me and i wouldn't be fullfilling her request of boston visitations anytime soon. A smile crossed my lips as i turned the music on and sped away from dissapointment.
Jennet was beautiful but was she intelligent? what was it that cause our conversation to strain so much as we sat over beverages, she drinking coffee with cream maybe sugar (i never bothered to ask(I could never be my normal pretentious self in front of her)) and i a decaffenated tea, no cream or sugar. I see her once maybe twice a year, perhaps i am lying to myself that this time was worse than ever. Hadn't i felt such fleeting moments of meloncholia mixed with love as i drove away in hopes of never seeing that wretched car again, only to slow down for one last look at her short black hair and smooth face.
No she wasn't different than that time, maybe it was me. I couldn't place my finger on it quite yet. We didn't care for each other perhaps we even bored each other but i had to get out as she flipped through her journal containing numerous notes and pictures that made me slightly envious but hardly jealous as i sat across from her at the oak table with the single black placematt in the center. I turned the corner of the place matt to the other side to find it was red and thought what would have unravelled if there was a little more passion in either of us or if mearly the red side was facing up. I grinned and nodded like a fool listening to everything she had to say about herself but really nothing was said. I didn't forget all times she complained aabout the pseudo intellectual conversations she was forced to put up with in boston and now all i could think about was how that would be better than this experience. I dropped her off this time and drove away knowing no one would be following me and i wouldn't be fullfilling her request of boston visitations anytime soon. A smile crossed my lips as i turned the music on and sped away from dissapointment.