Earning back my trust
I'm not sure what makes him think that a phone call can make everything better. A phone call. After a year, a phone call is shit from him. I talked to my dad last year on my birthday, and wanted nothing to do with him from there. I had spoken to him the Thursday (July 8th, the day before my birthday) and he was going to meet me and my (now) ex-boyfriend in New Orleans for lunch on Saturday. Well Friday, my birthday, rolls around. NO phone call. Thanks Dad. So I say screw lunch with him. Saturday at noon I get a phone call from him. Can definitely tell he's just woken up. When he said he had to work in the morning. So he asks if we're still going eat and I'm like, "What, you just woke up?" And to sum it up, he got all messed up the night before, and yes, had just woken up. So he didn't call me on my birthday, but got messed up for it. Real cool. I didn't even get drunk for my birthday last year, and I turned 18. So anyway, fast-forward in time to now. I am on my way to Stacey's on Saturday evening so we can leave for Texas. My phone rings, and I have NO clue who this number is. I answer, and lo and behold, it is my dad. He said he was just calling to tell me happy birthday. Like nothing. Bastard. And tells me he misses me and wants to see me. To which I just say oh. I was not a very nice person to him, but I didn't want to be. So he says his phone is going dead, and he'll call me in a few days. I'd love to say he did, and that we had a wonderful conversation and everything was okay. But life doesn't happen like that. He didn't call. At least not until he heard my sister was sick again. So he calls me yesterday while I am hanging out with Ashley and Zotch at the pool and says he heard Heather was going back to the hospital. And I said no, that I was pretty sure she wasn't. I said I might be wrong, but then again, I babysat her last night. That she had surgery LAST Monday. He actually had the nerve to complain that he never knows anything. I kind of went off on him here: "Well no, you aren't going to know anything if you don't call. When no one has any way of getting in touch with you and you DON'T CARE, no, you will not know a thing." And of course, there was nothign for him to say. I think he might have said oh. And that now I can call him. And I said yeah, NOW I can. I actually have a way to get in touch with you for the first time in a year. Then he starts saying that he loves me and never stopped loving me, and he said this like 4 or 5 times. I wanted to vomit. He said we needed to get together and talk one day. I was just like whatever. Actually I was pretty nice, considering this is what I really wanted to say: "You can't just fuck me over, walk out of my life like I am a worthless pile of shit, and walk right back in with no repercussions, no consequences." Hell no. I still love my dad, but if he really wants a part of my life, he has to EARN it. When my parents divorced, yeah, he had some shit to get straight. Yeah, he had a hard time. But he took the easiest damn way out and just didn't call. Just didn't worry about us. And he has the nerve to tell me he still loves me, and he never stopped loving me. Well he has a lot to prove, because I am NOT wasting my time on him until he can prove that he is consistant and reliable, that I will not get fucked over again. I have enough drama and stress in my life, without it coming from my own parent. I have been hurt enough, without it coming from him.