Just Another Day Outside of Paradise
Computer, begin personal letter sequence.
* * *
To: Foster, Admiral Frederick
From: Foster, Lieutenant Simon
Dear Dad,
Things are going swimmingly on the good ship Enterprise... at least as much as it ever has. The mission is movin' along at a snail's pace, but at least it's movin'.
Can't really fault Captain Archer for once -- he's making progress on the Xindi database... we're on the trail of an actual testing site if our vaunted comm officer can get it in gear and finalize the translation for the coordinates.
Thanks for the encouragement re my long-awaited promotion. Security is runnin' smooth as a baby's bottom, and believe me, there's plenty of proof of that comin' up as well. We're still trying to make headway in locatin' Lieutenant Commander Reed, but I tell ya, from what I hear via the -- well, where ya hear things like that on a ship this size -- I ain't so sure he's gonna be comin' back any time soon. Some kind of mission he's cooked up, find the Xindi in that alternate universe, figure out how to help our ship find 'em, get some kinda cure for his... 'kids'... the usual.
All I know is what I saw on the bridge... and I told you enough about that, I'd prefer not to be repeatin' such things. Makes me queasy, it does. And I've had enough intestinal trouble as it is.
*burps* Damn chili dogs... gonna have words with Chef...
::pauses computer, edits out last bit::
On that front... I know you rely on me to keep you up-to-date on what's really happenin' around here... Admiral Forrest is vetting reports to Starfleet now, so you can check 'em fer yourself against what I'm tellin' ya. He's a stand-up guy, and except for takin' a strange liking to the Captain's rugrats, he's adjusting well to life in this asylum. I'm takin' very good care of him.
Pregnancies. We got 'em. At least two women, and one of the Voyager GUYS... yep, another one. Don't worry, dad, I ain't touching NO ONE here... I didn't before and I won't now. I left Meri Hayes with her honor intact... she was a nice girl, too. Sorry I had to make the decision I did, but seeing her was taking away from my duties, and as you have taught me, the mission comes first.
And it gets better, Dad... I spotted a surprise last night -- I'll tell you since I wouldn't dream of lettin' anyone else around here know. It seems that Captain Archer might could be seekin' solace in the arms of our pointy-eared Voyager doc while Commander Reed is away. Kids and everything. Geesh. If the guy could kinda make up his mind which way he swings, it'd be nice. Better yet, just ban the sex and follow his own rules.
But we've had that conversation before, and as long as we're out here I know there's not a whole lot Starfleet can do about it. And as you suggested... I am keepin' a log of everything I know about to cover my own career. No sense in goin' down with this ship over the rest of the crew's lack of morals.
Signing off, dad... will update you again next week. If I'm not bein' attacked by one of those damn ankle-biters first.
Your devoted son,
Simon
* * *
To: Foster, Admiral Frederick
From: Foster, Lieutenant Simon
Dear Dad,
Things are going swimmingly on the good ship Enterprise... at least as much as it ever has. The mission is movin' along at a snail's pace, but at least it's movin'.
Can't really fault Captain Archer for once -- he's making progress on the Xindi database... we're on the trail of an actual testing site if our vaunted comm officer can get it in gear and finalize the translation for the coordinates.
Thanks for the encouragement re my long-awaited promotion. Security is runnin' smooth as a baby's bottom, and believe me, there's plenty of proof of that comin' up as well. We're still trying to make headway in locatin' Lieutenant Commander Reed, but I tell ya, from what I hear via the -- well, where ya hear things like that on a ship this size -- I ain't so sure he's gonna be comin' back any time soon. Some kind of mission he's cooked up, find the Xindi in that alternate universe, figure out how to help our ship find 'em, get some kinda cure for his... 'kids'... the usual.
All I know is what I saw on the bridge... and I told you enough about that, I'd prefer not to be repeatin' such things. Makes me queasy, it does. And I've had enough intestinal trouble as it is.
*burps* Damn chili dogs... gonna have words with Chef...
::pauses computer, edits out last bit::
On that front... I know you rely on me to keep you up-to-date on what's really happenin' around here... Admiral Forrest is vetting reports to Starfleet now, so you can check 'em fer yourself against what I'm tellin' ya. He's a stand-up guy, and except for takin' a strange liking to the Captain's rugrats, he's adjusting well to life in this asylum. I'm takin' very good care of him.
Pregnancies. We got 'em. At least two women, and one of the Voyager GUYS... yep, another one. Don't worry, dad, I ain't touching NO ONE here... I didn't before and I won't now. I left Meri Hayes with her honor intact... she was a nice girl, too. Sorry I had to make the decision I did, but seeing her was taking away from my duties, and as you have taught me, the mission comes first.
And it gets better, Dad... I spotted a surprise last night -- I'll tell you since I wouldn't dream of lettin' anyone else around here know. It seems that Captain Archer might could be seekin' solace in the arms of our pointy-eared Voyager doc while Commander Reed is away. Kids and everything. Geesh. If the guy could kinda make up his mind which way he swings, it'd be nice. Better yet, just ban the sex and follow his own rules.
But we've had that conversation before, and as long as we're out here I know there's not a whole lot Starfleet can do about it. And as you suggested... I am keepin' a log of everything I know about to cover my own career. No sense in goin' down with this ship over the rest of the crew's lack of morals.
Signing off, dad... will update you again next week. If I'm not bein' attacked by one of those damn ankle-biters first.
Your devoted son,
Simon