(no subject)
god i am so damn happy u have no idea.... i can't stop smilling....i guess u could say that i am in total love...jordon is so cool he is so hot and the funnyest kid any of u all could meet.....i feel somthing inside me that not even eric could me even feel. i am serious...in a way it scares me because i know that its goin to hurt more then when eric broke up with me.. i know i have problems that not many people understand but i am working on them... i feel that i have the streangth now to fight and work on those problems.... i want to hold onto jordon and if i had control on what happens i would keep jordon forever i would never let him go... and i know that i do have total control of my own life..and since i do i am goin to keep jordon..i want him to stay with me...see the funny thing is i feel safe with him no matter what... and i also find it funny that he was on my mind when i was goin out with eric and that i wanted to go out with him at that time too but i just didn't want to admit it.....yes i loved eric but u know what he doesn't deserve me.... he can rot in this world without a good gf..its not my fault that he gave up on us.. to tell u the truth i am happy he did because now i am happyer and in much better shape yes he is younger then me but u know what i love him for who he is not for his damn age..i could give a shit as to how old he is because he is everything i mean everything i want in a guy...we have so much in common he like my minni me lol well the male version of me....lol his sister and all of my friends come up to us and ask us all the time when is the wedding and how many children do we want..lol its so damn funny....man i haven't been this happy ever...things don't really piss me off all that much anymore....i don't think about tomorrow anymore i think about today and only today...i live each day one day at a time... i feel amazing.i feel special,and respected..i love him so much.. i am not goin to fuck this relationship up...
lol eric says that i was beating him while in our relationship all the time that i hit him was because i was playing around and i only do that if i feel comfortible with a person..and i was so comfortable with him but he fucked things up not me... i was being who i am and he didn't like well he can go fuck what ever whore that he can get because thats all that he is goin to get unless he pulls his act togeather and stops thinking about his damn car and what he wants to do to it... but yeah eric if u are reading this well u know i don't know what i did but u better not do the same thing to the next gf like u did to me..
but yeah i can't stop thinking about jordon... he has been the only thing on my mind since the day that i found out that he wanted to ask me out....ahhhh.. i am so relaxed right now.. u have no idea...i miss him already and its only been a couple of hours since i saw him.. he is such a cool guy and its nice that he feels the same way twords me and he even feels somthing twords me that he doesn't even know how to describe....i find it soooooo cute..
god this is such a long journal but i had alot of things on my mind that i wanted to get out.. and yeah i better get goin.
love u all especially jordon,
~laura
lol eric says that i was beating him while in our relationship all the time that i hit him was because i was playing around and i only do that if i feel comfortible with a person..and i was so comfortable with him but he fucked things up not me... i was being who i am and he didn't like well he can go fuck what ever whore that he can get because thats all that he is goin to get unless he pulls his act togeather and stops thinking about his damn car and what he wants to do to it... but yeah eric if u are reading this well u know i don't know what i did but u better not do the same thing to the next gf like u did to me..
but yeah i can't stop thinking about jordon... he has been the only thing on my mind since the day that i found out that he wanted to ask me out....ahhhh.. i am so relaxed right now.. u have no idea...i miss him already and its only been a couple of hours since i saw him.. he is such a cool guy and its nice that he feels the same way twords me and he even feels somthing twords me that he doesn't even know how to describe....i find it soooooo cute..
god this is such a long journal but i had alot of things on my mind that i wanted to get out.. and yeah i better get goin.
love u all especially jordon,
~laura