(no subject)
i am so lost right now it has been a day since eric broke up with me and i fell so lost and empty.my heart had been crushed into the smallest of pieces and its practically inmposible to pick them back up. all day i tryed to hold in my emtions but now i find that it is imposible to do that too. i feel that i had lost a part of me that is needed for me to actually be happy.
i don't understand why he broke up with me.the reason that he had to start out with was so rediculouse that i think that there is more to it then he is telling. my mom says that he is just streased out, and that he needs some time to him self to think things over. hehe i just hate knowing that he is gone and may not ever come back to me again. even though i hope that he will, my hopes r low and confusing
i love eric so damn much. i mean more then anything.it is so hard to explane how much i feel about him. i feal it but no words could explane it. i would have stuck by eric untill the very end. lending him an ear when he needed it the most, helping him through any obsticle that seemed to hard for him.
i am so badly goin to miss being held in his arms,wresteling, being able to kiss him, are times when we would laugh about the stupid things that we had done, helping him out with his car, making sure that he didn't buy things that he didn't need that very moment, how he looked after me when i needed it, and how he pushed me and made me realize that i was actually worth something.
now that is gone now i feal like i am just unwanted and unapresiated. i want to know what i did that made him want to break up with me. the thing that made him give up on me.
i should have seen this coming. it always seems to happen to me. i get close to somebody and they just up and leave me hangin dry. i just wish that he would listen to me. and just let me talk to him. i wish he could see how much he is hurting me right now. giving up when he promised that he wouldn't. i know things change but he didn't have to change himself and let go................now when i think of him tears well up in my eyes.. i had actually cried so much last night that my eyes where dry this morning.........i didn't even sleep last night i had the phone in my hand hopeing that he would call me and say that he didn't want to break up with me any more.
all that i know is that i will be hear if he wants to get back togeather..........i love him that much but i sort of question how much he loves me right now.....lately he had been confusing me beyond anything that i could think of.....at the begging of the day we were so happy and having so much fun..but then one littl thing happens and its over.when i think about it i don't even know if he was happy with me anymore.
i just hope he isn't suffering for his diccision and i hope that he sees how much pain i feel right now.
i feel like i had lost my brain and my heart....because i feel so stupid right now i feel so lost and so confused.......what did i do wrong? why does all this shit happen to me? am i being punished for something? why can't i live life and just be happy for once? what is wrong with me that causes people to run away or just give up on me?
my biggest wish for the rest of all my lives or for all eturnity would to have eric back and be able to hold onto him this time and not let go. and to have the streangth to be happy around him and not let the small things bother me.
i love u eric where ever u are. i will always love u that will never change. i could never feal the same about someone who happened not to be u.i know that u are not reading this but i say it out loud anyways in hope that somehow it will get to u.
Laura
i don't understand why he broke up with me.the reason that he had to start out with was so rediculouse that i think that there is more to it then he is telling. my mom says that he is just streased out, and that he needs some time to him self to think things over. hehe i just hate knowing that he is gone and may not ever come back to me again. even though i hope that he will, my hopes r low and confusing
i love eric so damn much. i mean more then anything.it is so hard to explane how much i feel about him. i feal it but no words could explane it. i would have stuck by eric untill the very end. lending him an ear when he needed it the most, helping him through any obsticle that seemed to hard for him.
i am so badly goin to miss being held in his arms,wresteling, being able to kiss him, are times when we would laugh about the stupid things that we had done, helping him out with his car, making sure that he didn't buy things that he didn't need that very moment, how he looked after me when i needed it, and how he pushed me and made me realize that i was actually worth something.
now that is gone now i feal like i am just unwanted and unapresiated. i want to know what i did that made him want to break up with me. the thing that made him give up on me.
i should have seen this coming. it always seems to happen to me. i get close to somebody and they just up and leave me hangin dry. i just wish that he would listen to me. and just let me talk to him. i wish he could see how much he is hurting me right now. giving up when he promised that he wouldn't. i know things change but he didn't have to change himself and let go................now when i think of him tears well up in my eyes.. i had actually cried so much last night that my eyes where dry this morning.........i didn't even sleep last night i had the phone in my hand hopeing that he would call me and say that he didn't want to break up with me any more.
all that i know is that i will be hear if he wants to get back togeather..........i love him that much but i sort of question how much he loves me right now.....lately he had been confusing me beyond anything that i could think of.....at the begging of the day we were so happy and having so much fun..but then one littl thing happens and its over.when i think about it i don't even know if he was happy with me anymore.
i just hope he isn't suffering for his diccision and i hope that he sees how much pain i feel right now.
i feel like i had lost my brain and my heart....because i feel so stupid right now i feel so lost and so confused.......what did i do wrong? why does all this shit happen to me? am i being punished for something? why can't i live life and just be happy for once? what is wrong with me that causes people to run away or just give up on me?
my biggest wish for the rest of all my lives or for all eturnity would to have eric back and be able to hold onto him this time and not let go. and to have the streangth to be happy around him and not let the small things bother me.
i love u eric where ever u are. i will always love u that will never change. i could never feal the same about someone who happened not to be u.i know that u are not reading this but i say it out loud anyways in hope that somehow it will get to u.
Laura