(no subject)
last night i dreamt about my unborn child.
as i birthed her i didn't feel any pain. i wasn't torn and bloody. i just awoke and she was lying in my arms - my full, pregnant belly was completely gone. i was holding her so tight i could have never let go, and she stared at me so good.
she was so beautiful. she had his dark, tanned skin. my nose. both of our freckles. her body was soft and pink, i love the way she smelled. she had only a few little hairs... and she laughed whenever my lips turned up a smile too quickly.
so pure, innocent, new. she loved me so much.
i was hers, and she was mine.
when i turned around (away from her), or walked a step in the other direction i would miss her. i would have to turn right back around to see her again. i never wanted to stop looking at that face. i couldnt bare to be away from her.
i dreamt about the night that we conceived her. on the floor, slowly. it was so gentle and deep. our mouths open, and our lips, hands, finger tips and chests touching the whole time. biting and moving in synchronization. he told me he loved me 43 times as it happened (i counted). and after we laid naked and wet for hours, just looking at each other and feeling what hadn't already been felt.
that night i knew. i could feel it. so i told him and we both cried. we held close all night, not separating until dawn (and the rest of our lives).
i have been thinking about it all day, closing my eyes and dreaming once again. trying to remember every single thing about her so i could write it down and carry her with me until she is real. i hope i get to meet her in the next decade or so. when she comes i hope she knows i have been waiting for her... pretending to touch her and sleep beside her, knowing that she will always be mine.
as i birthed her i didn't feel any pain. i wasn't torn and bloody. i just awoke and she was lying in my arms - my full, pregnant belly was completely gone. i was holding her so tight i could have never let go, and she stared at me so good.
she was so beautiful. she had his dark, tanned skin. my nose. both of our freckles. her body was soft and pink, i love the way she smelled. she had only a few little hairs... and she laughed whenever my lips turned up a smile too quickly.
so pure, innocent, new. she loved me so much.
i was hers, and she was mine.
when i turned around (away from her), or walked a step in the other direction i would miss her. i would have to turn right back around to see her again. i never wanted to stop looking at that face. i couldnt bare to be away from her.
i dreamt about the night that we conceived her. on the floor, slowly. it was so gentle and deep. our mouths open, and our lips, hands, finger tips and chests touching the whole time. biting and moving in synchronization. he told me he loved me 43 times as it happened (i counted). and after we laid naked and wet for hours, just looking at each other and feeling what hadn't already been felt.
that night i knew. i could feel it. so i told him and we both cried. we held close all night, not separating until dawn (and the rest of our lives).
i have been thinking about it all day, closing my eyes and dreaming once again. trying to remember every single thing about her so i could write it down and carry her with me until she is real. i hope i get to meet her in the next decade or so. when she comes i hope she knows i have been waiting for her... pretending to touch her and sleep beside her, knowing that she will always be mine.