(no subject)
it happened and i want to be surprised but now i feel like my actions are forced. i want to pretend it didn't happen the way it did because it fucking hurts! but it happened. and now what do i do? time heals everything but i don't want to wait; i just want everything to be better again. how do i let you know that you've hurt me again, so much deeper than before?
i'm purging the people out of my life who cause(d) me unnecessary stress but i can't allow my life to be easy because i don't think it's right for me to live easy. i expect to suffer because suffering is the only way i can justify my happiness. i can't be happy! i'm just not worthy.
i feel like i'm losing it but i don't know what to do. because this is the happiest i've been and it seems like all i've been is delusional.
i'm purging the people out of my life who cause(d) me unnecessary stress but i can't allow my life to be easy because i don't think it's right for me to live easy. i expect to suffer because suffering is the only way i can justify my happiness. i can't be happy! i'm just not worthy.
i feel like i'm losing it but i don't know what to do. because this is the happiest i've been and it seems like all i've been is delusional.