my walls
so there goes another one.that makes this guy my 5th guy that ive broken up with since my 2 year relationship and not one of them lasted long.as i was telling wade, i feel like such an asshole.in none of these relationships,all ended by me, have i really felt any remorse about breaking any of these guys' hearts.unfortunetly for me i have been told that none of my relationships will be anything like my 2 year relationship,in which case we had chemistry right from the start,and so i have been trying to settle for lack of a better word,less.i have found that i can not do that and still be true to myself so once again i have sent another guy packing,feeling bad because i didnt care about him like he cared about me,and feeling completely lost because i havent been able to completely find myself since my two year relationship.i feel completely lost as to what to do with myself and what i need to do within my life to become me again,but i have been this alternate person for so long i have no other idea of what to be.what i wouldnt give to live the life of my character....autumn.