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[_finduilas]

*walks aimlessly around town, looking for someone or something to distract her from things*

Does he not understand that I love him? Do I give him reason to think I'd just ditch him for somebody who'd father a baby?? He said he knows he's being irrational. Was he only saying that to appease me? Am I really that fickle?!

*frets*

Comments

[lalaith_]

::is enjoying an ice cream while window shopping::

::spots you from some distance and waves to get your attention::

psst! Oi! Fin!

::puts two fingers in her mouth and whistles loudly, waving you over::

[_finduilas]

*trudges walks over*

*gives you an unconvincing smile*

Lalaith. How are you? Great baby shower, by the way. :)

[lalaith_]

::nods enthusiastically, radiating a 'i'm-an-aunt-to-two-sets-of-twins' glow::

Wasn't it? Nienor couldn't get her own in time but oh well. It was all made possible with your maD skIlLz! color coding. So thank you!

::pauses for just enough time to realize that your smile isn't really reaching your eyes::

Hey, everything okay? :S

[_finduilas]

I'm glad I could help. Yes, it's too bad about Nienor's, though I daresay she probably doesn't mind. ;)

Oh, it's nothing. Just a little ANGST! anxiety at home. Nothing to get worked up about. :/

[lalaith_]

I think she's just glad about having a safe delivery and those two perfect babies. I was thinking about helping Aldarion prepare another meal for Nienor to compensate for a no-show baby shower.

::pats your shoulder sympathetically::

Had a fight with Turco? :/

[_finduilas]

*shrugs*

*mumbles* Sort of.

...

I went to Estë to be un-hypnodragoned and she brought back my memories but in the process made me all broody and I never wanted to breed and Turco sure as hell doesn't and we were just fine being the modern childless couple with some incest thrown in for kicks but now he's found out about the broodiness and freaked out and he borrowed Caranthirë's twins to see if babies were all that bad because he's afraid I'll leave him if he never wants to have a baby with me and I feel horrible about it and now I'm wondering if he really believes I love him and could I really be such a cruel and fickle person that I'd just drop him if it turns out he never wants to have a baby?

0_o

[lalaith_]

::listenslistenslistens::

...

::immediately buys you a helcaraxe!cone to calm you down and gives you a hug::

That is twisted really something. But you know...as far as I can think, if you two really love each other then you'll find a middle ground. I hope. Have you tried talking to him about his irrational fear of having babies why he doesn't want any babies without making him feel like he has to? :S

[_finduilas]

Thank you. Sugar and hugs are quite the therapeutic combination. :]

The thing is, I already know and understand the reasons he doesn't want a baby. I lived by all the same rules until a few weeks ago. :S

[lalaith_]

...I wonder if volunteering to help out with babies in general would help change his point of view, you know? I mean...look at Morno, he's pretty good with babies and he's pretending to be True and Grim and whatever not.

Maybe you can...uh...adopt a baby?

::has no idea of her own destructive verbal power::

[_finduilas]

I don't even want to familiarize myself with them most of the time. I constantly hear my old arguments running through my mind. "They're expensive. They're time-consuming. They make your life generally miserable while they're young and then they grow up and break your heart."

The rest of the time, it's as if I see a baby and my rational thoughts are chewed up and spit out by some latent Oooohcute!gene.

Adopt a baby? *sigh* We'd be terrible parents, anyway. :S

[lalaith_]

I don't see what's the problem here...you have just unintentionally stated that the cons outweigh the pros. :S

BUT...don't say that. You and Turco are both amazing people and I'm sure if you have or get a baby you'd be wonderful parents. Do you even what Caranthire was like? And just take a look at her now.

[_finduilas]

That's exactly the problem! Practically speaking, I don't want a baby...but these stupid maternal urges are doing their damnedest to convince me otherwise. >_<

Well, you have got a point there...but it really isn't even up for discussion anymore. Turco doesn't want one. Maybe ever. :(

[lalaith_]

This is ridiculous! Someone needs to talk to Turco! Quickly! >_

[_finduilas]

I think the worst part is that he thinks I'd leave him over it. That's completely unreasonable...isn't it? :S

[lalaith_]

It is! You love him and that should be enough for him to realize that it's going to last as long as your heart doesn't stray.

OME, I think I'm getting angry. That calls for gin in tea cups. :S

[_finduilas]

How about gin by the bucket? :'(