(Untitled)

Mar 02, 2004 21:07

*sits in her room and thinks about things*

*decides she needs to talk to Turin about... stuff*

*goes to find him*

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turin March 2 2004, 19:27:46 UTC
*is sitting outside the pub with a cigarette*

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_finduilas March 2 2004, 19:30:33 UTC
*approaches and sits next to him*

Hey.

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turin March 2 2004, 19:31:30 UTC
*looks up*

Hey, you're back.

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_finduilas March 2 2004, 19:33:47 UTC
Yeah. I have been for a few days, but, you know.

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turin March 2 2004, 19:34:50 UTC
Right.

*awkward silence*

How's it, uh, going then, everything okay?

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_finduilas March 2 2004, 19:36:58 UTC
Um. Pretty good. Yeah. Good. *nods* *stares at the ground*

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turin March 2 2004, 19:39:13 UTC
That's... good.

*smokes quietly*

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_finduilas March 2 2004, 19:41:11 UTC
Yeah. Good. *swallows hard* So, um, how are you?

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turin March 2 2004, 19:42:04 UTC
Oh. Uh. I'm okay. Just... you know. Thinking about stuff.

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_finduilas March 2 2004, 19:43:45 UTC
Yeah. I know. *is quiet for a few moments* *small laugh* It's funny. I came here so I could say something and now I have no idea what it is I wanted to say.

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turin March 2 2004, 19:45:14 UTC
*hears the nervous laugh*

Sure? I mean... it's okay, Fin, it's still just me, Túrin.

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_finduilas March 2 2004, 19:47:29 UTC
It's just... I don't know what to say. It seems so weird now.

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turin March 2 2004, 19:49:40 UTC
*pause*

Fin... Unless we talk about it it's going to stay being weird, I think. :S

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_finduilas March 2 2004, 19:51:08 UTC
Yeah. You're right. *nods* You're right. *deep breath*

...I don't want to say I'm sorry it happened, but I'm sorry it happened when it did. It wasn't fair to you or to me or to Turco.

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turin March 2 2004, 19:56:35 UTC
You're right, it wasn't. *sighs*

It's hard to explain, I mean... it felt easy with you, like it always does. I know it was just one time, and of course I didn't want to hurt you, I just... I think some part of me had been wanting to be with you for a long time. I'd just been holding back. :S

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_finduilas March 2 2004, 20:05:12 UTC
*sighs* I'm sorry...

*pauses* No. Actually, I'm not. I don't want you to feel hurt or alone or anything but do you know how long I spent wanting you and not being able to have you? That was my entire first life. And it sucked. And when you first came back I was completely willing to go after you again, and I did for a while. Then I found someone else and I'm so glad I did because when I'm with him I'm the happiest I've ever been ever and I sort of forgot about being with you. And I'm sorry if during the time I've been with him you've completely changed your mind about me or whatever but it's just the way things have to be because I just don't think it ever would have worked with us and now I'm really glad it didn't because I know who I want and what I want and it's not you.

...Sorry. I just felt like saying that. I think I've been spending too much time with my mother.

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