my heart is in ohio
So an intesresting fact about Ohio: We're ranked the 34th largest area in the USA but the 7th largest in population. Isn't that a little fucked up?
I dunno why it bothers me so much when people don't realize my hair is 5 fucking inches shorter, but it does. It looks sooooooo different and bothers me when people are like "it looks the same". NO IT DOESN'T IT'S MINUS 5 FUCKING INCHES!! The only people who could tell are my mom and Tara. Well and the lady from Spherion Staffing which made me wanna kill everyone else in the world. This girl saw me once before. ONCE before I cut my hair and she even saw the difference. It just makes me kinda sad, I dunno why. I think it looks way different. It feels waaaaaay different, really short. My hair used to go about an inch or 2 past my boobs. Now it doesn't even get close to my boobs. That's a big difference. I know it's stupid but it really bothers me.
SHOOOOOOOORT:
LOOOOOOOOONG:
Mandy, Ray, and I had a Scream movie marathon last night and watched all 3 Scream movies, lmao. I remembered who the killers were and most of the first 2 movies but I only remembered the very begining and very ending of the 3rd one, lol. I had forgotten that Patrick Dempsey is a detective in the 3rd Scream. Mmmmmmm sexy. I'm getting a lot more comfortable around Ethan, maybe because he's getting bigger, lmao. I actually hold and play with him now. He'll be one on January 1st.
Ray and I are going to go see Mandy and Rons new house today when he gets off work, which is now. So I really should be in the shower so I could head over to Rays asap but I wanna finish updating.
I'm strangely comfortable with the fact that my friends don't invite me places anymore, lmao. I know it sounds weird but like.. when I find out my friends were going to hang out or do something without me it used to hurt that they didn't ask me too. Now I guess I'm okay with it. IDK. It's weird lmao. I guess I'm coming to terms with the fact that we're freaking growing up and things aren't like they were in highschool. Like I remember a time when we all hung out every night and day like it was a normal daily thing like brushing your teeth or sleeping.
It's like Tara and my time has been reduced to 2 nights a week and sometimes a weekend night. That's so sad. I know when you grow up you have more things to do and that you don't always get time, but it's so sad to me. Tara is busy with school and work and I'm getting ready to start a new job with hours that I won't ever get to see her and I have Ray (whom is very demanding of my time). Even though we don't see eachother everyday we talk everyday mainly through text messages, lol, but still I feel like she's only a message away, lmao. And I can text her anything and she doesn't care which I love. I mean if I texted any of my other friends and was like "OMG I HAVE TO POOP SO BAD AND I'M DRIVING!!" they'd be like "tori.. wtf?" but like Tara will be all "OMG YOU BETTER HURRY!! YOU'RE GONNA POOP YOUR PANTS!!" lmao. IDK it may seem weird to every one else but I love it.
I see Laura like never. I thought it was going to be so amazing to have her home cause I couldn't always afford the gas or find the time to drive to Columbus. Thinking the three of us are going to have such a fun time together. But it was like we hung out for a awhile then she just kinda disappeared. It made me so sad cause I used to consider her one of my best friends and now it's like... she's an aquiantance. I mean I don't know what's going on in her life, we don't talk, and she doesn't know what's going on in my life either. It's like.. I would have never guessed that Laura and I would ever become what we are now. Like Tara will be like "Laura is moving back to Columbus." and I'm like WTF? like I have no clue what's going on in her life and when I find things out either from her, Tara, or her journal.. I'm like.. wtf? It's always something huge that I wasn't expecting. Like I didn't even know her and Steve were dating until I made an ass outta myself, lol. I guess it used to be like I know Laura isn't the person who just spills her guts, she likes to keep stuff inside for the most part, but I always felt like I could tell her anything, and that she could at least talk to me about the big stuff in her life. I mean I just found out she's moving back to Columbus and will be gone by like January. WTf? I mean.. it seems like at some point I would've found that out rather than a few weeks before she moves. I dunno it just makes me really sad.
And freaking Kj away at war. I dunno why but I feel so distant from her and not in a normal way. Like she called me once from over seas and it was like we were struggling for conversation and it was really awkward. It's never been like that before. Maybe it's just because she's so far away and a lot has changed since she left. I miss her a lot cause I would have the most amazing eye opening conversations with her when we were alone lmao. I feel like Kjs always been the friend who'll tell you what's up weather it'll make you go D:< or T_T lol. I guess she's really good at giving me a reality check :D which I need from time to time. I'm glad she's going to be home for awhile before she goes off to school cause I'm in some major need of Kj time.
Like all my movie night friends like Steve, Kamal, Joe, among others.. like they're not friends really anymore. Like we don't ever talk and it's just so sad to loose such amazing people.
Ugh.. I'm really running late now. I'll have to finish this life realization later ;D lol.
I dunno why it bothers me so much when people don't realize my hair is 5 fucking inches shorter, but it does. It looks sooooooo different and bothers me when people are like "it looks the same". NO IT DOESN'T IT'S MINUS 5 FUCKING INCHES!! The only people who could tell are my mom and Tara. Well and the lady from Spherion Staffing which made me wanna kill everyone else in the world. This girl saw me once before. ONCE before I cut my hair and she even saw the difference. It just makes me kinda sad, I dunno why. I think it looks way different. It feels waaaaaay different, really short. My hair used to go about an inch or 2 past my boobs. Now it doesn't even get close to my boobs. That's a big difference. I know it's stupid but it really bothers me.
SHOOOOOOOORT:
LOOOOOOOOONG:
Mandy, Ray, and I had a Scream movie marathon last night and watched all 3 Scream movies, lmao. I remembered who the killers were and most of the first 2 movies but I only remembered the very begining and very ending of the 3rd one, lol. I had forgotten that Patrick Dempsey is a detective in the 3rd Scream. Mmmmmmm sexy. I'm getting a lot more comfortable around Ethan, maybe because he's getting bigger, lmao. I actually hold and play with him now. He'll be one on January 1st.
Ray and I are going to go see Mandy and Rons new house today when he gets off work, which is now. So I really should be in the shower so I could head over to Rays asap but I wanna finish updating.
I'm strangely comfortable with the fact that my friends don't invite me places anymore, lmao. I know it sounds weird but like.. when I find out my friends were going to hang out or do something without me it used to hurt that they didn't ask me too. Now I guess I'm okay with it. IDK. It's weird lmao. I guess I'm coming to terms with the fact that we're freaking growing up and things aren't like they were in highschool. Like I remember a time when we all hung out every night and day like it was a normal daily thing like brushing your teeth or sleeping.
It's like Tara and my time has been reduced to 2 nights a week and sometimes a weekend night. That's so sad. I know when you grow up you have more things to do and that you don't always get time, but it's so sad to me. Tara is busy with school and work and I'm getting ready to start a new job with hours that I won't ever get to see her and I have Ray (whom is very demanding of my time). Even though we don't see eachother everyday we talk everyday mainly through text messages, lol, but still I feel like she's only a message away, lmao. And I can text her anything and she doesn't care which I love. I mean if I texted any of my other friends and was like "OMG I HAVE TO POOP SO BAD AND I'M DRIVING!!" they'd be like "tori.. wtf?" but like Tara will be all "OMG YOU BETTER HURRY!! YOU'RE GONNA POOP YOUR PANTS!!" lmao. IDK it may seem weird to every one else but I love it.
I see Laura like never. I thought it was going to be so amazing to have her home cause I couldn't always afford the gas or find the time to drive to Columbus. Thinking the three of us are going to have such a fun time together. But it was like we hung out for a awhile then she just kinda disappeared. It made me so sad cause I used to consider her one of my best friends and now it's like... she's an aquiantance. I mean I don't know what's going on in her life, we don't talk, and she doesn't know what's going on in my life either. It's like.. I would have never guessed that Laura and I would ever become what we are now. Like Tara will be like "Laura is moving back to Columbus." and I'm like WTF? like I have no clue what's going on in her life and when I find things out either from her, Tara, or her journal.. I'm like.. wtf? It's always something huge that I wasn't expecting. Like I didn't even know her and Steve were dating until I made an ass outta myself, lol. I guess it used to be like I know Laura isn't the person who just spills her guts, she likes to keep stuff inside for the most part, but I always felt like I could tell her anything, and that she could at least talk to me about the big stuff in her life. I mean I just found out she's moving back to Columbus and will be gone by like January. WTf? I mean.. it seems like at some point I would've found that out rather than a few weeks before she moves. I dunno it just makes me really sad.
And freaking Kj away at war. I dunno why but I feel so distant from her and not in a normal way. Like she called me once from over seas and it was like we were struggling for conversation and it was really awkward. It's never been like that before. Maybe it's just because she's so far away and a lot has changed since she left. I miss her a lot cause I would have the most amazing eye opening conversations with her when we were alone lmao. I feel like Kjs always been the friend who'll tell you what's up weather it'll make you go D:< or T_T lol. I guess she's really good at giving me a reality check :D which I need from time to time. I'm glad she's going to be home for awhile before she goes off to school cause I'm in some major need of Kj time.
Like all my movie night friends like Steve, Kamal, Joe, among others.. like they're not friends really anymore. Like we don't ever talk and it's just so sad to loose such amazing people.
Ugh.. I'm really running late now. I'll have to finish this life realization later ;D lol.