it must suck to live your life being so angry. and what i don't understand is why you would waist both your time and mine on that phone call if you hate me so much.
you honestly don't know me anymore if you think that's true. i'm sorry you feel this way about me. to be honest...i don't hate you. i get mad or upset by stuff sometimes- but who wouldn't, but i don't hate you, and never have.
i don't know what you expected to change, because other than an effort on both of our parts to at least be civil toward eachother, you didn't express in anyway (that i can remember) that you wanted anything else to change. besides, nothing was ever even given the chance to change.
of course i dont know you, do you know what you did to me?
you honestly dont know me if you think that what happened didnt hurt or that after a while i wouldnt be upset anymore, you knew everything, and i told you everything.
i dont know what i expected to change either, at least something, or for you to understand how much you hurt me, and how stuff like that just doesnt go away.
i never did anything "to" you. you just chose to take it that way. i didn't sit up at night plotting against you, or however you want to think of it...it just happened.
i never asked you to tell me everything, and i never thought what you did was okay, i was just too afraid to tell you. i just wish i had said something when i had the chance.
i didn't plan to hurt you, and i understand that it doesn't just go away, but after a while it's time to let go.
i'm sorry that you dont even seem to care about the way i think of you, let alone if you hurt me or not, its all the same to you, it just doesnt matter does it?
are you kidding me? you have no idea what i care about.
do you really think i would spend my time sitting here just thinking of ways to hurt you? i'm not like that, keri. as unbelievable as it may sound to you, i don't like seeing people in pain.
i guess after i sit here and just take you telling me that i have no friends, and how ugly, and stupid, and unforgivible i am, not to mention whatever else you want to or have called me, i just start to get a little numb to it. so, i'm sorry i didn't throw a hissy fit when you tried to hurt me.
Honestly Shea, you haven't been around enough to know how I feel. You make sound like I was plotting this out, planning all of this pain. I never "played off the part" of anything, because I was never pretending. I cared about Keri from the start, and I honestly still do. Shea, I didn't do anything "TO" her, because I never had a goal to hurt her. This isn't some conspiracy that I've had from the begining, and it makes me sad that it seems that you think that.
Do you really think that I'm ignorant to how you see me? Believe me, I know how you, and Keri, and whoever else see me as a friend. It feels absolutely horrible to know that you think I'm such a bad person. I've told Keri several times that I understand her reasons to be upset with me, and that is not a lie.
Shea, it doesn't have to be like this, but I'm sorry that it is too. I hate the way my friendship with both you and Keri ended, and I hate even more that people are hurt by it everyday.
i never said you planned this out and i don't think that, but just because you didn't make a goal to hurt her, doesn't mean you didn't do anything to her. you still did and you still hurt her. I don't think you're a bad person at all, i just highly disapprove of the mistakes you made when it comes to being a good friend to keri. conforting someone and then doing the exact thing to the person you once tried to make them feel better about isn't being a good friend at all. I know you didn't plan this out, but that does not change the fact that you either thought dating mark would be okay after you knew how upset keri still was about it, or you just didn't care to be her friend as long as you got a boyfriend. Once again I'm sorry all this had to happen.:[
we all know you're better than this and i'm gonna bring back your smile, even if it kills me)spare___changeJuly 1 2005, 00:32:14 UTC
i hate alot of the things you do to liz, and if that means that i still have to end up eventually choosing who i can be friends with, i have a basis for the things i should consider. and being grown up and acting like a human being is on there. and recently the way you've been acting isnt very grown up or the way a normal emotional caring understanding FRIEND should act like. And i dont know what your really big deal is. i mean we all know, but it happened, you had your moment of anger and sadness and i'm sure your long moments of regret and revenge, but whats done is done. and it seems that no matter how much you plan, how much you say and how much you hurt people its not gonna change. so my advice as a FRIEND is to accept that it happened and try to move on from that one day in the windy city.
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and what i don't understand is why you would waist both your time and mine on that phone call if you hate me so much.
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i'm sorry you feel this way about me.
to be honest...i don't hate you. i get mad or upset by stuff sometimes- but who wouldn't, but i don't hate you, and never have.
i don't know what you expected to change, because other than an effort on both of our parts to at least be civil toward eachother, you didn't express in anyway (that i can remember) that you wanted anything else to change. besides, nothing was ever even given the chance to change.
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you honestly dont know me if you think that what happened didnt hurt or that after a while i wouldnt be upset anymore, you knew everything, and i told you everything.
i dont know what i expected to change either, at least something, or for you to understand how much you hurt me, and how stuff like that just doesnt go away.
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i didn't sit up at night plotting against you, or however you want to think of it...it just happened.
i never asked you to tell me everything, and i never thought what you did was okay, i was just too afraid to tell you. i just wish i had said something when i had the chance.
i didn't plan to hurt you, and i understand that it doesn't just go away, but after a while it's time to let go.
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you were the one who decided we couldn't be friends anymore.
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and for some fucked up reason i thought it might change or help something, obviously i wasnt thinking
oh and you mean waste, right?
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and yes, i did mean waste.
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you have no idea what i care about.
do you really think i would spend my time sitting here just thinking of ways to hurt you? i'm not like that, keri. as unbelievable as it may sound to you, i don't like seeing people in pain.
i guess after i sit here and just take you telling me that i have no friends, and how ugly, and stupid, and unforgivible i am, not to mention whatever else you want to or have called me, i just start to get a little numb to it. so, i'm sorry i didn't throw a hissy fit when you tried to hurt me.
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You make sound like I was plotting this out, planning all of this pain. I never "played off the part" of anything, because I was never pretending. I cared about Keri from the start, and I honestly still do. Shea, I didn't do anything "TO" her, because I never had a goal to hurt her. This isn't some conspiracy that I've had from the begining, and it makes me sad that it seems that you think that.
Do you really think that I'm ignorant to how you see me? Believe me, I know how you, and Keri, and whoever else see me as a friend. It feels absolutely horrible to know that you think I'm such a bad person.
I've told Keri several times that I understand her reasons to be upset with me, and that is not a lie.
Shea, it doesn't have to be like this, but I'm sorry that it is too.
I hate the way my friendship with both you and Keri ended, and I hate even more that people are hurt by it everyday.
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