Re: UGH internet ate my comment, I think? Ironically, reminiscent of 2004..._featherFebruary 29 2016, 17:58:17 UTC
Hi Lin. It has been a very long time huh.
I kinda remember our correspondences. Do you still blog? What has happened to you? Did you study in London and returned to Singapore?
I tried to pick up journaling but always gave up. Over the years I feel like I keep treading old circular grounds and sometimes I really fear it's a mental problem but I guess neurosis is a (manageable) mental problem.
And then there's the cringe-factor of re-reading or stumbling across old journals. I like to think I'm a good writer but at the same time putting that effort into writing in a vacuum can smack of romantic narcissism.
My ex pointed that out before, and even if I grudgingly admitted it, it was still a good and only way I could process a lot of things in my head, to keep things straight.
I'm sad that I don't journal anymore, I don't think I'm better for it but I don't know how to start again.
So since that 2011 post you found, I have been living and working in New York. It is a very trying experience. My first year was spent worrying about being let go. When I came to terms with leaving, I got a job, and then suddenly I've been let go three years later now so I'm going through the same stress. It's hard to live with this fear and impermanence.
NY itself is a love-hate experience. Its effects on me are subtle. I think I have to grudgingly admit the pros outweigh the cons even though it is not obvious because the cons are in your face every day.
I am older but not wiser. I question a lot of things and I have to question if I'm simply being contrary. But I remember reading a tip about being wise, that the more you know the more you realize you don't know so I take some comfort in that.
I still have identity crises. I've had them since I was 15 and growing up in Australia in different cities, living and working in different cities, and working in an industry predicated on approval probably means I will always have them until I can honestly don't give a fuck anymore.
I kinda remember our correspondences. Do you still blog? What has happened to you? Did you study in London and returned to Singapore?
I tried to pick up journaling but always gave up. Over the years I feel like I keep treading old circular grounds and sometimes I really fear it's a mental problem but I guess neurosis is a (manageable) mental problem.
And then there's the cringe-factor of re-reading or stumbling across old journals. I like to think I'm a good writer but at the same time putting that effort into writing in a vacuum can smack of romantic narcissism.
My ex pointed that out before, and even if I grudgingly admitted it, it was still a good and only way I could process a lot of things in my head, to keep things straight.
I'm sad that I don't journal anymore, I don't think I'm better for it but I don't know how to start again.
So since that 2011 post you found, I have been living and working in New York. It is a very trying experience. My first year was spent worrying about being let go. When I came to terms with leaving, I got a job, and then suddenly I've been let go three years later now so I'm going through the same stress. It's hard to live with this fear and impermanence.
NY itself is a love-hate experience. Its effects on me are subtle. I think I have to grudgingly admit the pros outweigh the cons even though it is not obvious because the cons are in your face every day.
I am older but not wiser. I question a lot of things and I have to question if I'm simply being contrary. But I remember reading a tip about being wise, that the more you know the more you realize you don't know so I take some comfort in that.
I still have identity crises. I've had them since I was 15 and growing up in Australia in different cities, living and working in different cities, and working in an industry predicated on approval probably means I will always have them until I can honestly don't give a fuck anymore.
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