Melbourne, delay no more
Melbourne. It's cold, it's fickle, and it guzzles cafe latte like a mainline feeding a fix. And it's as small as the narrowest alley with its tiny dark windows, its shiny happy windows; and as sprawling as an egg sunny side up. Did I say fickle? I meant its infamous weather of course. Melbourne is a city that people fall in love with, but, it is also a city that falls in love with you.
And here I am, back, in the folds of this momentous change that I'm still coming to terms with, despite all the years of talking and convincing myself I have nothing to worry about; I'm back and I'm trying to get a feeling, trying to gauge how this old lover has changed and how to curry myself into her good books again.
Just into my second week, feeling angsty after going to one interview and one recruitment agency. Both a waste of time but useful in getting a bit of a feeling and understanding.
It's funny how we change with time. I'm crashing at good friends' place, but it makes me uncomfortable; because I'm intruding, because it's not my space. I guess I spent so much of my thoughts on beginning a new life and having my own space, and a job of course, that i've forgotten about this interim limbo when ... when it feels like you're back in college or uni and you're hanging out and crashing in places without a thought nor care. I don't like it. And I spend the day thinking up things to do, and really, there isn't much unless I want to look for a park to sit in and read, or maybe visit the gallery. But otherwise, it's just endless meanderings through the city.
No doubt this uneasiness and angst and disquiet are manifestations of my worries on the work front. It's been years since I'm in such a position and felt that, so yeah I'm certainly not used to it. Nor should I be, probably.
But I can't deny it. As much as I'm freezing and my muscles are locking up from the cold, it's great to be back. It feels lighter, there is a spring in the steps, even when my soles are sore, like tiny shiny red balloons attached to my shoulders and gravity is subtly and a littlely reversed. And my nose is red and sore and running and sniffing and I scrunch up my face and I'm embarrassed because I'm such a wide eyed traveller but really, just because it's so damn cold and my eyes are dry and my face is frozen and feels like it'll be discarded like a mask with the next big sneeze.
And I was just told, I'll know if I'm going native when I get hay fever for the first time in my life.
And here I am, back, in the folds of this momentous change that I'm still coming to terms with, despite all the years of talking and convincing myself I have nothing to worry about; I'm back and I'm trying to get a feeling, trying to gauge how this old lover has changed and how to curry myself into her good books again.
Just into my second week, feeling angsty after going to one interview and one recruitment agency. Both a waste of time but useful in getting a bit of a feeling and understanding.
It's funny how we change with time. I'm crashing at good friends' place, but it makes me uncomfortable; because I'm intruding, because it's not my space. I guess I spent so much of my thoughts on beginning a new life and having my own space, and a job of course, that i've forgotten about this interim limbo when ... when it feels like you're back in college or uni and you're hanging out and crashing in places without a thought nor care. I don't like it. And I spend the day thinking up things to do, and really, there isn't much unless I want to look for a park to sit in and read, or maybe visit the gallery. But otherwise, it's just endless meanderings through the city.
No doubt this uneasiness and angst and disquiet are manifestations of my worries on the work front. It's been years since I'm in such a position and felt that, so yeah I'm certainly not used to it. Nor should I be, probably.
But I can't deny it. As much as I'm freezing and my muscles are locking up from the cold, it's great to be back. It feels lighter, there is a spring in the steps, even when my soles are sore, like tiny shiny red balloons attached to my shoulders and gravity is subtly and a littlely reversed. And my nose is red and sore and running and sniffing and I scrunch up my face and I'm embarrassed because I'm such a wide eyed traveller but really, just because it's so damn cold and my eyes are dry and my face is frozen and feels like it'll be discarded like a mask with the next big sneeze.
And I was just told, I'll know if I'm going native when I get hay fever for the first time in my life.