day 10
today i woke up with my eyes wide open, and felt like i may have had an epiphany... I guess it was just one of those days where one finds they have a much over-due growth spurt. As I was walking the dog around 7am, thinking about my conclusions, as well as contemplating how to approach the apologies I needed to give, the sun was shining on the east, the clouds were black in the west, and over my small apartment building was a rainbow... a very beautiful rainbow. It seemed like it was there just for me... i know this is not the case, it is simply a reflection of light on water, but it brought me peace nonetheless. I almost felt like nature was smiling saying, "it's about fucking time you pulled your head from your ass miss courtney, now go and be happy." As i stared at the rainbow, with the sun behind me, I felt the rain fall on me, washing me clean. As silly as this must sound, I really feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me. I feel like i have a clean slate... a point from which i can go and live differently... happily. I don't mean to sound like i believe life will be sweet and easy from here on out, I just have a different, a better, a more healthy and positive outlook... One that will help me deal with the rough times in a more mature, positive way.