(no subject)
its 2:30a.m. and i cant sleep. i feel sad. i feel like im failing again.
I really like him, more than the last ones just because of a few rare qualities he has, and im scared to leave because i dont think i could ever find those qualities in someone else. mainly loyalty. Theres probably no one else as loyal as him.
Ive seen the kind of love hes capable of. but he hasnt shared much of it with me. he doesnt look at me the same way ive seen him look at her before. he doesnt care about the little things that would make me happy. he doesnt smile at me and tell me hes grateful for me.
But... i know he wouldn't cheat on me... at least.
He puts himself before me. WAY before me. He doesnt care to think about our future. Hes not very affectionate.
But it feels so good for the moments he is.
He makes me sad. And i wish i knew if its worth suffering through to get to the happy parts.
I really like him, more than the last ones just because of a few rare qualities he has, and im scared to leave because i dont think i could ever find those qualities in someone else. mainly loyalty. Theres probably no one else as loyal as him.
Ive seen the kind of love hes capable of. but he hasnt shared much of it with me. he doesnt look at me the same way ive seen him look at her before. he doesnt care about the little things that would make me happy. he doesnt smile at me and tell me hes grateful for me.
But... i know he wouldn't cheat on me... at least.
He puts himself before me. WAY before me. He doesnt care to think about our future. Hes not very affectionate.
But it feels so good for the moments he is.
He makes me sad. And i wish i knew if its worth suffering through to get to the happy parts.