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[_faith_]

So B and Anya are back now thanks to Red, Tara and their witchy skills... not to mention Dawnie and her blood. That kid's been bled so much it's a wonder she has anything left, ya know? Only weird thing is, C didn't come back with 'em. She's still out there somewhere, like Wes and Giles and Harm and Angel. So that's what, three down, four to go

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[_faith_]

I'm gonna rub some of the stars off the fabric I'm touchin' if I keep this up. He's makin' it pretty damned clear that he could care less if I'm anywhere around him.

"Yeah," I say.

It's true I've never been outta California, but I'm not so sure leavin's something I'd wanna do by myself.

[ozwolf]

I watch her for a long moment, then, voice sounding just a touch annoyed, I say, "Faith, are you ever going to learn to not take everything people say as a personal attack?" I ask. "Because it's getting tiresome. As Cordelia would say, get over yourself. You've been doing the Slayer thing in Sunnydale and L.A. for a long time now. Maybe you could use a change of scene for a while. That doesn't mean that I'm trying to get rid of you, or I don't want you around, I'm thinking of your wellbeing." I say. It's a lot more than I usually say. But then again, I find myself talking more around her anyways, because she's needed it. I pause a moment. "And don't even try to say that wasn't what you were thinking." The girl's pretty easy to read if you know what you're looking for. Or maybe I've just paid enough attention to be able to read her.

[_faith_]

This is really fuckin' hard. There's a part of me that's tempted to get up and walk away, but... I can't do that. Not with him. There's another part of me that wants to make excuses for why I'm the way I am, but I know that won't wash with him either. My hand stills, and I sigh quietly.

"I'm not real sure I know what I want," I finally say. And that's prob'ly the closest to straightforward I've been in a long time.

[ozwolf]

"Well..." I say slowly, still watching her. "This isn't a test. You can take a bit to figure it out. Maybe seeing some places would help that. Someplace not California." I hint at a smile. "Tibet is beautiful." I lay back, eyeing the stars, mostly to show her that I'm not going anywhere for the time being without having to blatanly say to her, 'I'm staying here and talking to you, and won't suddenly get up and leave'. Which, sometimes, I think she expects out of everyone. "At least, it was when I was there, but I hung out with monks, and somehow I don't think they're quite your speed." I glance at her out of the corner of my eye, that hint of a smile on my face again.

[_faith_]

I dunno. I'm thinkin' I might have better luck with the monks than I have with him lately. I glance at him and stick my tongue out at his expression.

"Funny." I prop my head on one hand, still layin' on my side. "I never thought about travellin', really," I say. "Doesn't seem like it'd be much fun by yourself."

[ozwolf]

"Oh, I don't know. I did it for months after I left here, then again after I left again." Here's me not thinking about the very short time I was back. "It can be very..." I look at her. "Revealing." I don't elaborate yet. If she wants to know she'll ask.

[_faith_]

"Revealin'?" I ask, just watchin' him. Idly my fingers pick at blades of grass, needin' to be doin' something. "How so?"

[ozwolf]

"When there isn't anyone around who knows you, you don't have to be anyone but you." I say. I pause, trying to think of how to put it in her terms. "Like...if you were somewhere else, you wouldn't have to be The Slayer, you could just be Faith for a while. And Faith who doesn't have to keep up a front."

[_faith_]

My eyes mist just a little, and I look down again. Somethin' about his words makes me think about what I lost, so long ago. Happiness. Innocence. Myself.

How does he always do this to me?

"I don't think I know who Faith is anymore," I whisper.

[ozwolf]

"Then maybe it's time you found out." I say, voice soft. I reach up to tip her chin down a little so I can make eye contact. "I think it's well past time you did."