Being this frustrated sucks...
(repeat from MySpace for my LiveJournal lovers)
Last night we celebrated my cousins 19th Bday... Everything was cool until, my cousin Brenda brings up like "yeah are you going to be going to Valley this fall and I can help you find an apartment.. blah blah blah" In my herad Im thinkin well yeah I'll be going to school but not around here since I'll be with Rudy.... So my fucking older blabs to her right in front of me about rudy and our plans.. FUCK THIS!
They both gang up lecturing me and shit and it sucked. Im trying to explain everything and they dont get it. They are older and its not like I can gush to them about the emotions and love in it, so I tell them some benefits of it and then they think "well then you are only getting married for convience" HELLO this isnt the fucking 50's I wouldnt fucking do that, but they wouldnt get the love part, just because we havent been together years doesnt mean we are not ready. I mean fuck my sister goes on about "yeah Ive been with Luis sinec I was 14 (shes 26) but him and I are different, we meant to be together." Well fuck I can turn around and say the same shit but "its not the same"....and Brenda fuck shes was with my cousin on and off from 13! til 20 at which then she got pregnant they then married at 22.
Both these women are happy with their life. family and choices they made.
Why cant they have some faith in me? and that I know what I want and these are my choices. I have faith in it.
So they are lecturing me and crying and they make me start balling and it just sucked to not get any respect and then Brenda says
"Your whole family is going to hate this, they will hate him because it and if the time was right your family would be happy".. Shit man, to my family the time wont be "right" until Im AT LEAST 24.
I want this more than anything Ive ever wanted. I love him so much and this means everything to me. Ive started planning, Ive told the whole world because Im happy.
Rudy puts no pressure on me about it, he said if it hurts to hear my family dissaproval then we can wait until they are ready to accept it. I dont want to, but I also dont want them to hate him and resent him and think hes "making" me marry him. I dont know what to do.
My only thought is to maybe wait until next summer.... or have them meet him a few times over the summer and stuff thn get married around Christmas, that was we will have been together for a year and half...
Why coudlnt this be easier... In my heart its so simple. so easy I just wish it was so easy for everyone else.
Last night we celebrated my cousins 19th Bday... Everything was cool until, my cousin Brenda brings up like "yeah are you going to be going to Valley this fall and I can help you find an apartment.. blah blah blah" In my herad Im thinkin well yeah I'll be going to school but not around here since I'll be with Rudy.... So my fucking older blabs to her right in front of me about rudy and our plans.. FUCK THIS!
They both gang up lecturing me and shit and it sucked. Im trying to explain everything and they dont get it. They are older and its not like I can gush to them about the emotions and love in it, so I tell them some benefits of it and then they think "well then you are only getting married for convience" HELLO this isnt the fucking 50's I wouldnt fucking do that, but they wouldnt get the love part, just because we havent been together years doesnt mean we are not ready. I mean fuck my sister goes on about "yeah Ive been with Luis sinec I was 14 (shes 26) but him and I are different, we meant to be together." Well fuck I can turn around and say the same shit but "its not the same"....and Brenda fuck shes was with my cousin on and off from 13! til 20 at which then she got pregnant they then married at 22.
Both these women are happy with their life. family and choices they made.
Why cant they have some faith in me? and that I know what I want and these are my choices. I have faith in it.
So they are lecturing me and crying and they make me start balling and it just sucked to not get any respect and then Brenda says
"Your whole family is going to hate this, they will hate him because it and if the time was right your family would be happy".. Shit man, to my family the time wont be "right" until Im AT LEAST 24.
I want this more than anything Ive ever wanted. I love him so much and this means everything to me. Ive started planning, Ive told the whole world because Im happy.
Rudy puts no pressure on me about it, he said if it hurts to hear my family dissaproval then we can wait until they are ready to accept it. I dont want to, but I also dont want them to hate him and resent him and think hes "making" me marry him. I dont know what to do.
My only thought is to maybe wait until next summer.... or have them meet him a few times over the summer and stuff thn get married around Christmas, that was we will have been together for a year and half...
Why coudlnt this be easier... In my heart its so simple. so easy I just wish it was so easy for everyone else.