*big breath*
alright, so i haven't written in a while, but i feel like talking about some stuff that has been on my mind...
firstly, i'm lonely =( i don't see my friends that much, i go to work everyday, come home with barely enough time to eat & change, and then i have rehearsal til 10. everyone's usually with their boyfriends anyway. i want a boyfrienddddd =( but whatever..
i pretty much hate myself and the way i look. i've lost 44 pounds since i started dieting in january, but i feel NO different. i don't see myself any differently, i don't feel any more confident.. nothing. i just wanna skip this whole dieting/exercising shit and go straight to being a skinny, pretty, normal girl who guys actually stop and look at. it's taking too long. and i've been slowly going off my diet the last couple weeks, especially since i haven't had one free minute to go to the gym. this happens every fucking time i try to lose weight. it NEVER happens. ahh!! i'm frustrated.
oh, and i absolutely 100% hate school. so for those of you who don't know, i used to go to fairleigh dickinson in madison. i lived there and i hated it. i was home more often than i was actually at school. words can't describe how miserable i was living there. so i transferred and now i go to montclair. even though i live home and i absolutely appreciate it and am much happier than i was living at fdu, i still hate school. i refuse to do any homework or study or anything anymore, and i really just don't care. usually, i'm a straight A student, but i really couldn't give 2 shits anymore. on my way to school every morning i'm practically crying and dragging my ass there because i hate it so much, hence the reason i didn't take any summer classes, even though i really should have.
oh yeah. and boys suck. no explanation needed there.
damn it feels good to be back on livejournal lol
firstly, i'm lonely =( i don't see my friends that much, i go to work everyday, come home with barely enough time to eat & change, and then i have rehearsal til 10. everyone's usually with their boyfriends anyway. i want a boyfrienddddd =( but whatever..
i pretty much hate myself and the way i look. i've lost 44 pounds since i started dieting in january, but i feel NO different. i don't see myself any differently, i don't feel any more confident.. nothing. i just wanna skip this whole dieting/exercising shit and go straight to being a skinny, pretty, normal girl who guys actually stop and look at. it's taking too long. and i've been slowly going off my diet the last couple weeks, especially since i haven't had one free minute to go to the gym. this happens every fucking time i try to lose weight. it NEVER happens. ahh!! i'm frustrated.
oh, and i absolutely 100% hate school. so for those of you who don't know, i used to go to fairleigh dickinson in madison. i lived there and i hated it. i was home more often than i was actually at school. words can't describe how miserable i was living there. so i transferred and now i go to montclair. even though i live home and i absolutely appreciate it and am much happier than i was living at fdu, i still hate school. i refuse to do any homework or study or anything anymore, and i really just don't care. usually, i'm a straight A student, but i really couldn't give 2 shits anymore. on my way to school every morning i'm practically crying and dragging my ass there because i hate it so much, hence the reason i didn't take any summer classes, even though i really should have.
oh yeah. and boys suck. no explanation needed there.
damn it feels good to be back on livejournal lol