its been a while....
It's been months since I've wrote in this thing. But there's no one else to listen. For the first time since I've been back in Houston I've encountered a string of bad luck. My best friend and his wife (which they have a 3 yr old together) is back on the needle, everyone's hours got cut at work, I lost my girlfriend, and Laura's dad asked me to leave because I smoke weed and he doesnt want it around his daughter. Whatever... a big what-the-fuck-ever.
Carla. We started dating about 4 months ago or so.... maybe not that long. And right from the get-go we hit it off. She's absolutly beautiful and she felt the same about me. A bit older, but I dont believe that had anything to do with the demise of our relationship. 7 years isnt that critical. Pretty early in our relationship she left me for a couple of days to get back with her ex. Hey shit happens. I let her go through what she needed to and I was waiting for her when she got back. I was happy again. Shortly after she left for Cali and I stayed and took care of her beautiful 12 year old daughter, Michele. It was starting to look good. She would call me all the time with little dirty phone calls, and telling me how much she loved me. And the thought of possibly making more of this other than a little fling started entering in my head. I think I started falling for her then.............. while she was falling for me. We had some rough times due to (I believe) the fact that we are both overly passionate about our ideas and possibly other reasons. Sounds like a good thing right? Not when our intelligence is about equal..... and we know it. But let me back up. I have had a couple of relationships before, all of them good, with good girls. But I never had the experience of handling the commitments that a woman... a grown woman has. So all of this lead to us breaking up and a chain of unfortunate events.
I started trying to get inside my head and figure out what was wrong with us being together. Why couldn't 2 people that started loving each other so fast have so many issues. IT WAS ALL HER FUCKING FAULT THAT STUPID BITCH. until I found out that the fault laid on my shoulders. And once I found my way back to reality, I realized that the fact of two people not being able to get along is never anyones fault, its probably caused from the surrounding situations. So I'm trying to figure all of this out, thinking that Carla might be doing the same. I was wrong. I guess she started "hanging out" with someone out of lonelyness maybe.?. I'm fucking wracking my brain and going through this huge mess of emotions so I can be with her, because thats all I wanted to do since the first day that we met. But it was too little to late. I told her my ideas through email, with high expectations of her responses each time being let down. So this maybe another attempt or maybe just some ventalation.
For the first time I got a taste of a relationship that I've been looking for my entire life, with the person that I've been looking for my entire life. Its not very often I meet someone that's beautiful physically, then get to know her and find out she's more beautiful than I thought. And for the first time I'm willing to go to the ends of the earth to be with someone. I'm trying. It hurts.
Carla. We started dating about 4 months ago or so.... maybe not that long. And right from the get-go we hit it off. She's absolutly beautiful and she felt the same about me. A bit older, but I dont believe that had anything to do with the demise of our relationship. 7 years isnt that critical. Pretty early in our relationship she left me for a couple of days to get back with her ex. Hey shit happens. I let her go through what she needed to and I was waiting for her when she got back. I was happy again. Shortly after she left for Cali and I stayed and took care of her beautiful 12 year old daughter, Michele. It was starting to look good. She would call me all the time with little dirty phone calls, and telling me how much she loved me. And the thought of possibly making more of this other than a little fling started entering in my head. I think I started falling for her then.............. while she was falling for me. We had some rough times due to (I believe) the fact that we are both overly passionate about our ideas and possibly other reasons. Sounds like a good thing right? Not when our intelligence is about equal..... and we know it. But let me back up. I have had a couple of relationships before, all of them good, with good girls. But I never had the experience of handling the commitments that a woman... a grown woman has. So all of this lead to us breaking up and a chain of unfortunate events.
I started trying to get inside my head and figure out what was wrong with us being together. Why couldn't 2 people that started loving each other so fast have so many issues. IT WAS ALL HER FUCKING FAULT THAT STUPID BITCH. until I found out that the fault laid on my shoulders. And once I found my way back to reality, I realized that the fact of two people not being able to get along is never anyones fault, its probably caused from the surrounding situations. So I'm trying to figure all of this out, thinking that Carla might be doing the same. I was wrong. I guess she started "hanging out" with someone out of lonelyness maybe.?. I'm fucking wracking my brain and going through this huge mess of emotions so I can be with her, because thats all I wanted to do since the first day that we met. But it was too little to late. I told her my ideas through email, with high expectations of her responses each time being let down. So this maybe another attempt or maybe just some ventalation.
For the first time I got a taste of a relationship that I've been looking for my entire life, with the person that I've been looking for my entire life. Its not very often I meet someone that's beautiful physically, then get to know her and find out she's more beautiful than I thought. And for the first time I'm willing to go to the ends of the earth to be with someone. I'm trying. It hurts.