Stay with me and fall asleep pray to god for no bad dreams
I'm finally getting medical help, like going to see a Pshyciatrist. OH fuck. I already had one appointment and the last thing out of his mouth was "would you be willing to go onto medications" ooo yay i'm gonna be on about 74123890 medicines for anxiety, depression, sleep & anger. Then i'm gonna go into relapse and be about x7430291847201 worse then i was before. FUCKING BITCHES. I'm already afraid to talk to the guy. I don't need him taking things wrong and sending me to some mental institution. I don't want him to tell me to fix things with my dad, because i wont'. I fucking refuse to. He fucked me up, he hurt me, HE SHOULD FUCKING TRY TO FIX THINGS. I'm done with it. He wants his little girl back...well let him fucking try. It won't work. He'll make me talk about Chris, about his death...his accident. So i'll be crying for about an hour on that day. Then i'll come home and loose it all over again and cry for hours on end because no one understands how fucking much i miss that kid and every fucking day for the last 5 & half years i've blamed myself for his death. He'll have me talk about justin and how if he dies in war i'll fucking kill myself. My life without justin..NOT EXISTANT. yea you read that right...i will die before i live a day without Justin. Scary? Probably. But i grew up with him, hes my other brother, my hero(refers to mysapce)
This update is so stupid....and i don't fucking no. Forget? Yep.
This update is so stupid....and i don't fucking no. Forget? Yep.