So confused about HIM
I am so majorly confused about Rob now. Its like he's turned into a totally different person. Maybe its because i have become a bit too available to him, and that he prefers the whole "chase" thing?
Whatever happens, there is most definately *something* special between us. We have a bond that I've not got with anyone else. Its almost as if we've known eachother forever, and not actually the short 8 moths it has been. *Sigh* Theres a lot in my head to come out, but I fear I will sound completely and utterly emo :(.
Fuck it.
This is MY journal, no one /has/ to read it.
When I first moved into the new house, Rob was there for me. He even helped me move out of my Mum and Dad's. The first night in there we stayed up chatting all night in my bed, just hugging, and talking about stuff we hadn't told eachother about ourselves. We discussed my so called relationship with Simon too, and Rob made me realise I needed to make myself happy, and stop thinking about everyone else!!
The next day he didn't go to work and we spent the day together, and the next day too. We went to Bella's in the afternoon, which was amusing..Simon sat as far away from me as possible on the bus, and Rob plonked himself next to me, and we chatted more.
I can see why people thught there was something going on with Rob and I when I started going out with Simon, but there was nothing. I thought I just felt a strong friendship with him.
Anyway, the Friday night Rob walked down to the Ship of Fools with me, so I could end it with Simon. We got filthy looks, probably because I hadn't been seen all week then I just swan in with another guy. Funnily the break up was very easy.
This is when Rob and Ez started getting *a lot* closer.
Now I want to sit him down and tell him exactly how I feel. Tell him that I think he's amazing, and that I feel safe around him, and that I want more than anything to be with him. I'm too frightened to. The thought of rejection is not a plesent one, or one I would appreciate feeling right now.
So this leaves me in an uncomfortable position. Do I make a fool of myself and tell him how I feel, with the possibility of him telling me my feelings are unrequited? Or do I carry on feeling this way in silence, and wait for him to find a prettier, funnier more interesting girl?
Anyway thats that rant over..I haven't updated in a while, but I'm sure I'll be updating more very soon.