Apr 07, 2005 01:01
It's the best feeling when you know you've done so much for so many people, and care about everyone so much, and never pay attention to yourself and your needs, and going out of your way for people and doing more for others than whats needed and expected and it not being appreciated and it not being taken into account... and then the feeling gets better when you finally fucking do something for yourself and... you get slapped in the face and called names... because for one time in your life you did something that makes you happy, something to benefit you and not others for once, and that one thing can change so much, and can make people think so differently of you and who you really are... but everything you did for those people before.. doesnt even matter, what was the point of being that way if its not even paid attention to? thats just the way i've been my whole life and everyone's so used to me being like that: going out of my way for them and making my life revolve around other people, that when i pay attention to my needs, and feelings, and desires, its not ok.
and that was the longest sentence ever.