crumble 2004 up in a ball, for it's time to kill some new trees.

[_explora_]

i haven't updated in a while.
i'm home, i'm drunk, i'm thinking.
winter break is almost over...where did it go?

spent most of my days with soffer, with dafna, with randomness
i fought with my parents, my dad is ashamed of me, my mom gives me looks
i all of a sudden have an early curfew
and i'm clean (practically)

i'm already in college.
i'm planning out my life.
i want to graduate...now.

but i can't go away unless i...
1. stabilize my moods
2. stay sober
3. gain weight
4. stop angering my parents.

(only 6 more months,dora. don't screw shit up)

soffer leaves a day before his birthday
i dont know how to prepare for the withdrawal

my dad has a meeting with school on monday
i don't know how to prepare for the confrontation

new years is on friday
will i feel as loved, betrayed, occupied, lonely, stressed, and relaxed next year...
...as i did in 2004?

only time will tell.

sorry for rambling. soffer just called.
time for me to lay in my covers and have him put me to sleep.

...expect my next post in 2005...
nighty night