hur hur hur
yea, you hurd me. Well, nothing special really going on right now. Been spending alot of time painting and thinking of paintings. I found a bunch of small canvas's in my garage so I thought they could us some paint. I cant WAIT to get my car back, then I can go and get more big canvas's and more paint.
The deadline is real soon for the painting I'm doing for some gallery downtown. I cant pronounce the name of the place but its on chester. Anyways, I think its due on the first, thats pretty sooon so I'm gettin alittle nervuos. I havnt been in any sort of art contest type thing since 6th grade. Either way it will be interesting to see peoples reactions to my art.
In other boobie news:::::::: not much really. I'm starting to have a hard time in helping a friend and that kinda bothers me. She wants advice from me and I do the best I can, I force myself to have a non-biased opinion but its getting harder and harder to do. I've been thinking about her again, I just try to push it aside and continue on with things but it always has popped up time and time again over a coarse of many years.
I dont know what it is but I'm wondering if I should stop trying to contain it. I've wanted to let it loose for some time now but was afraid. Afraid of it creating change. But isnt that what we all want really? Without change there is no growth, but to change you have to be vulnerable and if your vulnerable then can be hurt.
And there lies the choice we must make. There are the unfortunate sad onces who choose to not choose at all. Those are the ones stuck somewhere inbtween happiness and sadness, a place where both co-exist and cancell each other out. When both are equal there is no distention between the two, soon the only feeling at all is nothingness.
Anyways, its hard when I know my advice can effect a persons life so drastically and in that situation how it can personaly effect me and change my life. The fact I would like things to work out in a favor more toward my own is a hard one to deal with. I truly just want her to be happy but the currect sitch does not lead me to believe that it will lead to happiness. I felt things were wrong in the beginning and now time is showing the tru roots of the life span. The patience of one is truly inspiring though. Its an extremely emotional & difficult situation and I dont really know what to do. I feel so bad and sometimes instead of being the support I should be, I hide. It all has to do with my own insecurities. I know if I get close to this person while their in a time of need then other feelings can arise, potentially between the both of us but mainly what I'm worried about is my own feeings. I know I can get attatched to someone really easily, especially someone whom I've cared deeply for, for a very long time.
Sooooo, that is my dilemna.....plus I'm not even sure if she's aware of my thoughts and the role she plays in it.
But the ambien is kicking in and its time for nite nite.
The deadline is real soon for the painting I'm doing for some gallery downtown. I cant pronounce the name of the place but its on chester. Anyways, I think its due on the first, thats pretty sooon so I'm gettin alittle nervuos. I havnt been in any sort of art contest type thing since 6th grade. Either way it will be interesting to see peoples reactions to my art.
In other boobie news:::::::: not much really. I'm starting to have a hard time in helping a friend and that kinda bothers me. She wants advice from me and I do the best I can, I force myself to have a non-biased opinion but its getting harder and harder to do. I've been thinking about her again, I just try to push it aside and continue on with things but it always has popped up time and time again over a coarse of many years.
I dont know what it is but I'm wondering if I should stop trying to contain it. I've wanted to let it loose for some time now but was afraid. Afraid of it creating change. But isnt that what we all want really? Without change there is no growth, but to change you have to be vulnerable and if your vulnerable then can be hurt.
And there lies the choice we must make. There are the unfortunate sad onces who choose to not choose at all. Those are the ones stuck somewhere inbtween happiness and sadness, a place where both co-exist and cancell each other out. When both are equal there is no distention between the two, soon the only feeling at all is nothingness.
Anyways, its hard when I know my advice can effect a persons life so drastically and in that situation how it can personaly effect me and change my life. The fact I would like things to work out in a favor more toward my own is a hard one to deal with. I truly just want her to be happy but the currect sitch does not lead me to believe that it will lead to happiness. I felt things were wrong in the beginning and now time is showing the tru roots of the life span. The patience of one is truly inspiring though. Its an extremely emotional & difficult situation and I dont really know what to do. I feel so bad and sometimes instead of being the support I should be, I hide. It all has to do with my own insecurities. I know if I get close to this person while their in a time of need then other feelings can arise, potentially between the both of us but mainly what I'm worried about is my own feeings. I know I can get attatched to someone really easily, especially someone whom I've cared deeply for, for a very long time.
Sooooo, that is my dilemna.....plus I'm not even sure if she's aware of my thoughts and the role she plays in it.
But the ambien is kicking in and its time for nite nite.