Man/Woman/Dog/Child, Welcome...and cover ALL of your orifices.
Listen. I am Excalibur, called by some the Phallus of Destruction, but called Ridiculously Sexy by most. I am a superhero/supervillian who stalks the earth, assraping anything I can find...well any Man, Woman, Dog, or Child I can find. Anyway, being a crazed cock deity at all times gets kind of harsh, and I really just feel that I need to air out some of my beliefs and observations for the world to see. I know I vowed to the Stake of Porto-callis that I would never use technology to enhance my physical self, but being the indecisive man alter-ego of Lila (long middle name) Seidman is enough as it is...I need the enhancement. I AM AWEXOME. AND HOT AS HELL. Sorry, those phrases just roll off my tongue sometimes. Well, my hit-it-from-the-back watch seems to be beeping fervently, which means I haven't taken a Man/Woman/Dog/Child in like 5 minutes! I'm off. Come, Fantastic White Steed of Black Midnight, lets ride of into the distance!