(no subject)
[I'm thinking, do I have to plead to get you by my side?]
What a bloody stupid day.
Basically the entire day was filled with examples and stories of how im doomed to be second best in any sort of aspect in my entire life.
But you know what?
I dont even fucking care anymore.
I accept that ill never be anyones favorite. It's not like i couldnt tell. Im glad she cleared it up. Words though friends clearly up all the blur. Now if i'd only hear you clarify...
Anyways.
I have an unbelieveably large amount of homework that ive decided to quit on since im gone in TWO days. Im started to get excited..trying to at least. Im rather relieved to just be away from everything here for awhile. I was unable to fall back asleep which inturn meant far to much thinking. Im dangerous when i think. I basically over anaylse every single aspect of every single incounter with every single person ive seen during the day. Which inturn leaves me feeling like crap and unworthy of every good thing ive got.
In keeping with mondays routine, i went to school fairly early to see my sarah...then got pissed off. (not at you sarah love..you know what im ranting about anyways). Then i went to science class in a huff and basically torn some girls head off for moving her desk around..and no jenn. So then i started crying like that emo girl with the social standard sweater..and that made me cry more at my lameness. Then jenn showed up and told me more bad news..so then i was started up again. And that basically went on the whole class in which i wished i was vomitting rather then crying. What loser cries..faggott.
And this leads all back up to that very first paragraph. I disgust myself.
{But puzzled so it makes you sick,your diary's looking like the Bible with its verses lost in time,lost in meaning to the people who surround you
it's a crying shame...}
What a bloody stupid day.
Basically the entire day was filled with examples and stories of how im doomed to be second best in any sort of aspect in my entire life.
But you know what?
I dont even fucking care anymore.
I accept that ill never be anyones favorite. It's not like i couldnt tell. Im glad she cleared it up. Words though friends clearly up all the blur. Now if i'd only hear you clarify...
Anyways.
I have an unbelieveably large amount of homework that ive decided to quit on since im gone in TWO days. Im started to get excited..trying to at least. Im rather relieved to just be away from everything here for awhile. I was unable to fall back asleep which inturn meant far to much thinking. Im dangerous when i think. I basically over anaylse every single aspect of every single incounter with every single person ive seen during the day. Which inturn leaves me feeling like crap and unworthy of every good thing ive got.
In keeping with mondays routine, i went to school fairly early to see my sarah...then got pissed off. (not at you sarah love..you know what im ranting about anyways). Then i went to science class in a huff and basically torn some girls head off for moving her desk around..and no jenn. So then i started crying like that emo girl with the social standard sweater..and that made me cry more at my lameness. Then jenn showed up and told me more bad news..so then i was started up again. And that basically went on the whole class in which i wished i was vomitting rather then crying. What loser cries..faggott.
And this leads all back up to that very first paragraph. I disgust myself.
{But puzzled so it makes you sick,your diary's looking like the Bible with its verses lost in time,lost in meaning to the people who surround you
it's a crying shame...}