"And I claw for solid ground."
New life. It's what I had been given. Life? No, death. Death was my art. My gift. My power. Darkness and light were no longer at war to win this golden girl's heart and soul. Darkness had prevailed and no longer foreshadowed the light within my soul. My soul belonged nomore to this blonde under the six feet of soil and wooden coffin, as I was slowly stirring to life with the memories of the night prior.
Angelus pretending to be Angel. All a trick and trap. I was his prey and never even knew it. Why hadn't I seen the void of all good intent in those dark orbs? Why hadn't I heard the underlined malice in his voice? The cold smile that never reached his eyes?
But, I did. I just, well...ignored it all. There was no possible way that he was Angelus. Not again. Not after last time. After Jenny. After having to send Angel to hell. There was just no possible way. Yet, I did know it. Deep down inside I knew it was the monster wearing the angelic mask. Parading around as my soul mate. Did I want this? Part of me did. I knew Angel was gone and Angelus was here. Willow's spell had worked the last minute, but I couldn't bring the pain and suffering to them again. I couldn't watch it play along their faces and know somewhere inside them, they blamed me. I've seen it before. I couldn't bear to see it once again.
So what do I do? I let death consume me whole. Let my Romeo take his Juliet and drain her dry. The pleasure of last night was amazing. My body had gone off at his expert hands and mouth. I couldn't hold back. As I died, I remember crying out Angelus' name and not Angel's. All the while I could see my dark hero somewhere in the back of my bedroom watching. His head slightly casted down and eyes full of sadness. How I wanted to tell him, I was sorry. That I wasn't strong. I was weak. I needed a release and this was it. Let Angelus take my blood and Faith have my life. It's what I knew I could do.
What I expected to be done.
What I didn't expect was to come back as I am. Craving this uncontrolled thirst. One that was leaving me to strike out at my enclosure. That and fear. I was terrified of coffins and of suffocating. Ever since drowning, air was of the upmost importance to me. And coffins were my fear. I knew I was in one. The way the soil smelt with added senses and the way the wooden coffin felt under my fingerpads as I pushed up. The first of cracks sounding as I managed to break passed it and claw at the dirt. How long I clawed for, I wasn't sure. I just remember taking in a deep breath of air, that I didn't need and relaxing once I had myself surfaced from underneath the packed dirt.
At once the aroma of night jasmine overtook me and I was lost to the wonderful scent. My thrist forgotten for the moment as I honed in on the smell. I could see them line along the concrete walls even in the dimest of lighting. The wind that blew carried their fragrance to me. My eyes closing to allow such keen senses bring me pleasure. And it was there that I felt him.
"Angelus." I couldn't help but smile. My face stained with dirt. Hair strewn with the smallest pieces of wood from the coffin. I must look like a mess, I mused to myself, finally letting the thrist come back and tempt me to lure an innocent being, one that I had previously protected, into my waiting arms. Arms that weren't adorned in any clothing. My arms and legs were bare. Angelus had left me in my nightgown that barely covered much. It was a thin piece of silk my father had bought on a trip to Italy. A soft green to bring out my eyes. Spagetti strapped and low cut in a V slope at the neck line. "You couldn't have dressed me in something that wouldn't have mattered if it was ruined? I swear, you never were one to think. Case in point." I scoffed, rolling my eyes. I wasn't afraid of him anymore.
I was strong...er, than I had been. Something told me, Angelus didn't want to go making me angry.
Angelus pretending to be Angel. All a trick and trap. I was his prey and never even knew it. Why hadn't I seen the void of all good intent in those dark orbs? Why hadn't I heard the underlined malice in his voice? The cold smile that never reached his eyes?
But, I did. I just, well...ignored it all. There was no possible way that he was Angelus. Not again. Not after last time. After Jenny. After having to send Angel to hell. There was just no possible way. Yet, I did know it. Deep down inside I knew it was the monster wearing the angelic mask. Parading around as my soul mate. Did I want this? Part of me did. I knew Angel was gone and Angelus was here. Willow's spell had worked the last minute, but I couldn't bring the pain and suffering to them again. I couldn't watch it play along their faces and know somewhere inside them, they blamed me. I've seen it before. I couldn't bear to see it once again.
So what do I do? I let death consume me whole. Let my Romeo take his Juliet and drain her dry. The pleasure of last night was amazing. My body had gone off at his expert hands and mouth. I couldn't hold back. As I died, I remember crying out Angelus' name and not Angel's. All the while I could see my dark hero somewhere in the back of my bedroom watching. His head slightly casted down and eyes full of sadness. How I wanted to tell him, I was sorry. That I wasn't strong. I was weak. I needed a release and this was it. Let Angelus take my blood and Faith have my life. It's what I knew I could do.
What I expected to be done.
What I didn't expect was to come back as I am. Craving this uncontrolled thirst. One that was leaving me to strike out at my enclosure. That and fear. I was terrified of coffins and of suffocating. Ever since drowning, air was of the upmost importance to me. And coffins were my fear. I knew I was in one. The way the soil smelt with added senses and the way the wooden coffin felt under my fingerpads as I pushed up. The first of cracks sounding as I managed to break passed it and claw at the dirt. How long I clawed for, I wasn't sure. I just remember taking in a deep breath of air, that I didn't need and relaxing once I had myself surfaced from underneath the packed dirt.
At once the aroma of night jasmine overtook me and I was lost to the wonderful scent. My thrist forgotten for the moment as I honed in on the smell. I could see them line along the concrete walls even in the dimest of lighting. The wind that blew carried their fragrance to me. My eyes closing to allow such keen senses bring me pleasure. And it was there that I felt him.
"Angelus." I couldn't help but smile. My face stained with dirt. Hair strewn with the smallest pieces of wood from the coffin. I must look like a mess, I mused to myself, finally letting the thrist come back and tempt me to lure an innocent being, one that I had previously protected, into my waiting arms. Arms that weren't adorned in any clothing. My arms and legs were bare. Angelus had left me in my nightgown that barely covered much. It was a thin piece of silk my father had bought on a trip to Italy. A soft green to bring out my eyes. Spagetti strapped and low cut in a V slope at the neck line. "You couldn't have dressed me in something that wouldn't have mattered if it was ruined? I swear, you never were one to think. Case in point." I scoffed, rolling my eyes. I wasn't afraid of him anymore.
I was strong...er, than I had been. Something told me, Angelus didn't want to go making me angry.