(Untitled)

[stoic_angel_]

((Moving forward from hereI watched absently as Wesley left the office, and slowly turned around to look out of the window. It still never failed to amaze me how I could look out on the city without burning up, and see all the people, going about their daily lives, never knowing the kind of evil that filled this world

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[stoic_angel_]

((LMAO. Umm... oops, and yeah))

"Yeah," I said slowly. All the Slayers in the world wouldn't be a very small number... just thinking about it made my head hurt, because I knew not all of them would think that I should be allowed to live like Buffy and a few others did.

"How are they handling this, though? I mean, after you get them to believe?" I asked her after a moment. It couldn't be easy... after all, I remembered when I had watched Buffy first be called... she hadn't had that easy of a time with it either.

[mixed_berry]

(( Ack, sorry, I totally didn't see this until I was doing my RP roundup. Also, yay for funny mistakes! ))

"A lot of them are pretty wigged. Which I totally don't blame them. The concept of vampires at first... pretty unbelievable..." I pointed out. "But, they're dealing. Giles is pretty good at that, but I'm sort of better at the fighting than making long speeches. Believe me, I found that out last year."

All the speeches last year... Yeah, though some were show stoppers, a lot of them tended to be tiring.

[stoic_angel_]

"I would imagine," I said dryly. After all, it wasn't everyday that a teenage girl was told that there were vampires, and she was supposed to fight them.

"Well, I'm glad that you have everything under control," I said slowly after a moment. "At least this way, hopefully we won't have any Slayers getting themselves into trouble." My thoughts drifted briefly to Faith; Faith, who had been on the wrong side to begin with, then had had this destiny forced on her... hopefully, with the right help, no one would go the way Faith had gone. I didn't think I could quite handle any more psychotic Slayers...

[mixed_berry]

"I think it's good that there's a bunch of them..." I commented softly, thoughtfully. "It's less 'You are the chosen one' and more 'You are the chosen ones...'. There are other people like them. Feeling like I know they must feel."

[stoic_angel_]

"I know," I agreed. "I mean, it makes it easier than you had it at first..." I shrugged. "I mean, at least before there was Kendra, then Faith..." As I thought about it, Buffy hadn't been quite so alone as previous Slayers; for most of the time she had been Slayer, there had been at least one other Slayer. But then, that was Buffy, always changing things, I thought amusedly.

[mixed_berry]

"I can't even think of what it would be like before me. The first slayer? Completely alone. S'not really cool. At least this generation can rely on others. Big deal." I nod towards Angel.

[stoic_angel_]

"Yeah, that's a good thing," I said. I shrugged, leaving it there for a moment. Buffy was lucky- she hadn't been alone for her life, as all the other Slayers had... and that was probably part of what had kept her going, as well as her family and friends. Part of what had made her such a good Slayer... as far as I knew, no other Slayer had lived this long.

"Dawn's almost out of high schoo, right?" I asked suddenly. "I mean, does she know what she's going to do after that?" I hadn't really known Dawn all that much- after all, the memories I had had of her were those of an occassionally annoying younger sister who always followed Buffy around, and was a sweet kid. On the other hand, though, there was the fact that those memories were all fake, as Willow had told me when she had brought me the news of Buffy's death.

[mixed_berry]

"I don't think she wants to go to college right away, but she's still young. Has plenty of time to decide what she really wants." I smiled softly.

"Sort of like me now. I mean... after Giles and I get this council together? I could do something else after, you know?" I asked.

[stoic_angel_]

I nodded; I hadn't really considered that. After all, I guess I had gotten used to the fact that Buffy was a Slayer and she always would be. She kept as much of a normal life as she could, but other than that... she was always going to be the Slayer, which meant that she would have her duty that came before anything else.

But now that there were more Slayers, that meant that she didn't have to do all of this herself... she might actually be able to go to college now, or to have a family. I pushed that thought away, facing the small reminder that being a Slayer still meant that one didn't live as long as everyone else. Buffy had already beaten those odds, but... one never knew.

"Do you know what you want to do then?" I asked, looking at her. "Now that you don't have to handle this all alone?"

[mixed_berry]

I took in a deep breath. "No idea." I said honestly, a small smile tugging at my cheeks. "I have no idea what I'd want to do."

"I hadn't really thought about it. I think, right now, all my energy is going towards the bitty slayers... I mean, I have time to think about all this. You know?"

I lied. I had thought about it. I thought of different things and different futures. I thought about what happened between Angel and I, and then I thought about what happened between Xander and I. Two vastly different men. Xander wasn't interested that way was he? Was I?

"Maybe I'll go back to college?" I shrugged.

[stoic_angel_]

"Yeah, but they won't need all your attention forever," I said, watching her as she hesitated slightly. There was something she wasn't telling me, but... I wasn't goig to pry. It wasn't any of my business anymore, and she would tell me if she needed to... right?

"What do you want to go to college for?" I asked, looking at her curiously. I hadn't really thought about what she would want to go into, because before, we had both known that there wouldn't be a chance for that... only now there was. Heck, if she wanted, she could even settle down and have a family... I winced slightly, remembering the times I had... no. Not going there.

[mixed_berry]

"They won't." I agree with a small nod towards Angel. The fact was, I could train the already experienced Slayers to do the job I was doing. We had watchers - not as many as there were slayers - but we had enough. I was keeping myself busy.

"And... I have no idea what to do. All my life I've had this destiny. I never thought... that I could choose." I pause, "And now, it's like... my dream come true. I'm pretty much free from all the responsibility and exhaustion. All I can think about is that I don't want to do anything else... and I'm starting to think that this sounds pretty stupid."

[stoic_angel_]

"No, it doesn't sound stupid," I said quickly. "I mean, finding out that you have this whole choice, when you didn't before... it's a pretty big thing."

I stopped, then said after a minute, "Well, you can choose now... Wasn't that what you wanted a few years ago, a normal life?" I hoped she hadn't given that dream up- she deserved to have as much of a normal life as she could, after everything she had done, had been through. And now that she had the ability to carry out that dream, I wondered if that was suddenly too big a reality... but she would make it work. She was Buffy; she always made everything work out, one way or another.

[mixed_berry]

It was a big thing. It was more than a big thing. The last time I had these choices I was barely sixteen and had too much hairspray on my head to think that far ahead. It was tomorrow's dance or cheerleading practice. None of those thing were important though. I had a job being the only girl to save the world and as pressuring as that was... as lonely as it could be, I miss being the one.

What had I told Spike months ago, "I don't want to be The One." Walking contridiction

[stoic_angel_]

I nodded, understanding immediately what she meant. After all, that was part of the reason I had given back my humanity on that sinlge say I had had in the sun... I had known that Buffy would get hurt trying to protect me, and meanwhile, since I knew what was out there, I wouldn't be able to just ignore everyone and everything supernatural. It wasn't the way I was.

"I know what you mean," I said. "I just meant that... it doesn't have to be your whole life now, you know?" I smiled slightly, then stopped.

"It's going to be a lot to get used to, isn't it?" I asked her after a moment. After all, for the past seven and a half years, she had been the Slayer, and now, she could relax if she chose to, not that she would. Buffy was never one to leave the fighting to someone else...

[mixed_berry]

"I know, but it is a lot to get used to. I just... I can't give it up yet I guess." I still needed to be a somebody in this world. I couldn't think as far ahead to be a normal girl. Maybe that was it. I just didn't want to be normal.

I smiled and laughed softly, "I had enough trouble sharing the job with Faith, now I have to share it with a bunch of girls?"

"Look at you though... big new job." I pointed out, still smiling, "How'd that happen?"