Running away and other dealings

[mixed_berry]

Okay, so I knew telling Dawn that going to Italy as a vacation wouldn't work. It didn't really stop me from trying, but as soon as I saw that look of 'give me a freaking break' I broke down and told her the truth. (Or what I'd like to call a diluted version of the truth

Comments

[dawnie_summers_]

I hung up the phone after talking with Xander, smiling slightly when I was sure I heard Buffy in the living room.

"Wasn't expecting you to be home so early. The newly made slayers mutiny or something?" I asked, smirking slightly, dropping down on the couch.

I'll work up to asking her about staying with Xander. Dropping it on her the second she gets home was far from a good plan if I wanted anywhere close to a positive reaction.

[mixed_berry]

I sigh, plopping myself directly on the couch beside Dawnie. Mmm, comfy couch. Nice after being tackled by other slayers.

"We should really give them some shots of Valium. That might help the days go by faster. I wasn't half as hyper as those girls are when I was their age."

[dawnie_summers_]

"You probably were, it's just, energy and hyperness tends to feed off other hyperness." I pointed out. "Or didn't you notice that back in Sunnydale? Besides, it might be hard to train them to be actual effective slayers if they're sedated to the point of calm on a daily basis." I laughed slightly.

"So, other than super hyper teenage girls driving you nuts, how are you?"

[mixed_berry]

"Good. Dandy. Peachy with a side of keen." I replied with a hint of sarcasm and a smile.

"Did I hear you get off the phone with someone?"

[dawnie_summers_]

"You did." I nodded slightly, she wasn't gonna make it easy for me to work up to asking, was she?

"It was Xander. Before you freak out and get all worried or panicky, he's fine. I called him, not the other way around."

[mixed_berry]

Xander? It was Xander? Dawn called Xander? I could almost feel my blood pressure go up.

"So, um... you called him? How... is he?" I asked, playing with a loose string on my shirt.

[dawnie_summers_]

"I just said he was fine, Buffy. Did you like, tune out every word past his name or something?" I questioned. "Seemed a little stressed about some work stuff, but he seem fine. Really worried there was something wrong here, but fine."

Okay, so now I'm really confused. Total freakouts regarding the call from both of them. Do I even want to think about why that is?

[mixed_berry]

"Right. Right." I took a quiet breath in, looking over to Dawnie. "So... Were you just missing him?"

That had to be it. Dawn missed Xander. I could understand that.

[dawnie_summers_]

"That's part of it, yeah." I nodded again. Easiest way to do this was probably to blurt it out, right? Because let's face it, no matter how easily I try to break this, she's gonna go through the roof, right?

"I know the other part's gonna make you freak out entirely, so just try to hear me out, please?" I started, but didn't give her a chance to answer before pushing ahead. "Yeah, I partly called Xander because I was missing him. But there was a kind of ulterior motive behind it. I wanted to ask him if I could possibly stay with him for the school year. It's not that I don't want to be with you, Buffy...but the thing is...you're never here. And as great as Italy is, I'm basically here by myself, doing everything by myself, and I'd kinda like to at least go back to the states to graduate." I told her.

I exhaled sharply. There. It was out. Now I just sit back and wait for the explosion. At least I was being honest with her, rather than trying to pass the move to Italy off as a vacation. That's gotta get me some points, right?

[mixed_berry]

Okay, I'm sure that there were words in that sentence that made sense, but all my Buffy Brain could think of was this Dawn doesn't want to be here and Dawn wants to move in with Xander.

"What?" I heard myself ask loudly and not quite pleased. Xander couldn't have been happy to hear this. Why is Dawn asking me if Xander wasn't even happy? Why is Xander even contemplating this thought? I would have to have one serious conversation with that carpender!

[dawnie_summers_]

"I asked Xander about it, and he said he's okay with it if you are..." I told her. I couldn't help but sigh slightly at her reaction. "I don't get it...I really don't. I mean, before the big battle with the first, you were all about sending me off with Xander. Pretty much had him kidnap me so I would go...now, it's all total spaz out time because I hate being pretty much ignored even more than I was back in Sunnydale. Only difference this time is, I lack all of your friends being around to every so often act like I'm here. So long as I'm not getting in trouble, it's like you don't even care what I'm doing or how I am...do you even realise that?" I asked, trying desperately to keep my voice level. "I know you're busy, and you have all these obligations...I get it...but a little face time wouldn't be such a bad thing. It's all notes and money for dinner on the fridge..."

Okay, enough of a rant for a minute. Let's give her a chance to answer to some of that...maybe she'll understand?

[mixed_berry]

I couldn't help but feel hurt at her words.

"Look, I'm trying Dawn. I know it isn't easy with me gone for training the other Slayers. Do you know how much I'd rather be at home with you? This is the work I do." I tried to explain gently. I knew the edge of hurt in my voice was going through my words.

[dawnie_summers_]

"Again with the already answering that one...I know this Buffy." I sighed, "Look, I'm not doing this to hurt you...and I should be used to this after the last 6 months in Sunnydale...but again, massive difference here is I couldn't possibly be more alone if I tried. There's nobody here but you. I have nothing to keep me busy. Then there's this whole language barrier thing...not exactly conducive to remedying the sitch, is it?" I asked gently. "All I'm asking is to go back to the states, graduate from an American High School...you know, where I won't be hopelessly behind because of the different curriculum, after that, I'd be going to college anyway, right? Just think of this a being early admission or something. We can still see each other on school breaks, and write emails, and call."

Attempting to win her over with logic tended not to work when she was upset, but it was worth a shot. And besides, like I'd already said, willing to trust Xander to look after me indefinitely just a few months ago.

[mixed_berry]

I frowned deeply. "I thought you wanted to travel for college. Go the whole European trip thing? Study abroad?"

Okay, yeah it was a pathetic try. A really pathetic try. I just wanted my sister here with me. Plus, things with Xander were still sort of rocky.

[dawnie_summers_]

"That would still imply be not being in Rome full-time, wouldn't it? That was sorta my point." I told her gently. "Never mind the fact that the term study abroad only works when you have to cross a huge ocean to do it." I smiled slightly.

I got where she was coming from. I did. I didn't particularly want to be basically on the other side of the world from my sister, but I couldn't keep living like this.

"I love you, Buffy. I do. But the way things are, right now, I'm miserable. Maybe things would be better, even just between us, if I wasn't feeling so left out of everything all the time. If you didn't have to worry that that's how I was feeling, or have to work all the time when we're together...things would be better, right?"

[mixed_berry]

I let out a huge sigh. I didn't want to be here without my sister. I understood where she was coming from. I really did.

"Look. I want to talk to Xander before anything is finalized. We have to discuss a few things."

What the heck was I doing?