(no subject)
Right now, I feel myself getting reeeeeeally depressed. I'm not sure why, but I don't want that to happen again. I hate feeling the way I did, a few months ago. I was so incredibly miserable. I just need to figure out what's wrong with me.
I was completely happy, earlier today. I don't know. I was just sitting there, and I suddenly couldn't remember why I was happy. No matter that I didn't have a reason to be unhappy. I just can't find a reason to be happy, right now.
God, I hope this doesn't last long. I don't want to be the way I was. I felt like such a burden to all the people around me - like my being depressed somehow held them back. And, perhaps, it did. I really wouldn't want to think I was holding anyone back - especially those I love.
It's just not fair.
Why doesn't this happen to someone else, this time? Haven't I had my share? I just want to make everything better.
I haven't been myself, lately. I've been... deceitful, when it comes to some of the most important people in my life.
I want to feel better.
I want to sit down and just cry.
I want to just scream and throw things.
But that wouldn't be rational, now would it?
Ariana and Bruce will be back any minute.
Not that I mind if they see me cry... but... I just don't want to act like that in front of anyone, right now.
I just don't know.
At all.
Pray for me.
I was completely happy, earlier today. I don't know. I was just sitting there, and I suddenly couldn't remember why I was happy. No matter that I didn't have a reason to be unhappy. I just can't find a reason to be happy, right now.
God, I hope this doesn't last long. I don't want to be the way I was. I felt like such a burden to all the people around me - like my being depressed somehow held them back. And, perhaps, it did. I really wouldn't want to think I was holding anyone back - especially those I love.
It's just not fair.
Why doesn't this happen to someone else, this time? Haven't I had my share? I just want to make everything better.
I haven't been myself, lately. I've been... deceitful, when it comes to some of the most important people in my life.
I want to feel better.
I want to sit down and just cry.
I want to just scream and throw things.
But that wouldn't be rational, now would it?
Ariana and Bruce will be back any minute.
Not that I mind if they see me cry... but... I just don't want to act like that in front of anyone, right now.
I just don't know.
At all.
Pray for me.