Tired.. Don't Feel Good.. Stressed :(
Well school is almost over this semester can't belive it! It's over beginning of May but after Spring break which is next week we only have about 4 weeks left. I have alot to do in these short few weeks left. Papers, finals, and more papers. The end of the semester always creep's up so fast but it's like bam you have tons 2 do that you left for the last minute lol thats me! Always the last minute. I'm really tired today and feel really emotionally drained for some reason. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I've had my period for six weeks! I need to go on birth control but I just haven't called up a gyno to make an apt. I also need to get a new gyno so it's going to be annoying since they dont know my history ect. And to go in with a period its just gross. Blah. Next week is finally Spring break but I have nothing planned but school work. I also have to try and get more things done around the townhouse so we can put it up for sale as were moving. Were I have no idea! I do plan on moving to florida after I graduate grad school. I'm done with NY there's nothing here for me, I hate the snow and the cold and I need a change I think. Maybe I'll meet a girl there *cough ya right* but you never know. I gave up looking for someone came to the conclusion that I'll most probably be alone forever mabye I'll just be with a man like WIll and Grace lol I dont want to be alone I really don't but you can't make someone want you, you know? It seem's that now a day's everyone has a gf but me, I'm always the other wheel. THe 3rd wheel, 5th wheel and so on, its not fun I'll tell you that much. I just watched the L word season finale and I cried, I cried because it's the last one lol and also bc it gets me thinking about my own life. I am so sick of being alone, watching my life past me by and having no one in it. I hardly see my friend's these day's as they are always in a "mood" I also have no money to do anything which doesn't help. My head is pounding right now :( Blah If anyone has anyone in mind I can meet please let me know lol I always wonder if I was skinny would i still be alone? I really want a lap band, I've been looking into it again. My health is so bad though they would most probably never clear me for surgery. With having my period for 6 weeks, not sleeping right, my spleen has been inflamed, and so on... My life is so boring right now its like at a boring stage, Ya I'm in grad school but that's about it. THese are the "best" years of our life ya right! My life was alot better when I was younger and I thought it was bad then, if only i knew what it would be today! I would probably of done things differently. Its really strange how back then I had a lot of girls emaling me, meeting them ect. There was one time in my life (age 19) I met a different girl on a date once a week! Now I haven't met anyone since Dee and that was like September. Like I said I've given up, but there is only so long someone can be alone! Were a world that we need other's, we need to be loved and feel loved and have a meaningful relationship. Oh well... I guess were not all here to be loved and to have someone to love...