Hate is such a strong word...

[_eternaltorment]

I fucking hate christmas. I fucking hate being poor. I fucking hate having to replace tyres and car batteries a few weeks before christmas when we haven't finished the christmas shopping. I fucking hate having to put said tyre and battery on the visa, which eats up every cent of the 'contingency money'. I fucking hate wondering where the fuck we are gonna get gas money from. I fucking hate that I can't control this shit. I fucking hate that my significant other won't take money advice when I am clearly better at it than he is. I fucking hate money. I fucking hate having no money. I fucking hate not even being able to buy myself a goddamn coffee. I fucking hate that the S.O. maxed the visa to oblivion last year. I fucking hate that the S.O. spent over a grand on fucking toys this year. I fucking hate that the S.O. ticked up $400 worth of DVDs at the local video shop and seems to think that he has forever to pay for them. I fucking hate feeling this way. I fucking hate that I can't talk to the S.O. about money without him getting defensive and grumpy. I fucking hate that I don't have the guts to suggest that he have no access to the joint account because we both know what he is like with money.

I fucking hate that I just ate a peanut slab cos I felt like crap. Now I feel worse.

I don't hate the S.O. by the way. I do fucking hate that I don't have the balls to tell him to sort his shit out or I walk. I fucking hate that if I did give him an ultimatum, I would be bluffing.

Actually, I suppose 'fucking' is kinda a strong word too...