(no subject)
I was so sad last year. Most of it was frustration that brought sadness. Feeling frustated about stuff I couldn't change, frustrated that I was me. There were times when I really didn't want to carry on, I used to think what difference would it make if I was here or if I wasn't. It's not like I do great stuff, I felt like a complete waste of space. Then I had 'what ifs' eating away at me everyday, causing more frustration. Making me hate myself even more. I felt regrets about everything, spent most days wishing I could change what had been done. The Dave thing played a big part in it. Instead of thinking of the reasons we broke up and how it wasn't working all I could concentrate on was the good stuff and the good times we shared. It took a long time to get over it but I did and this sounds so cliche but I probably have come out a stronger person. The wounds have healed, the scars faded. Life goes on.
I feel more positive these days, my holiday helped a lot. I feel like I re-discovered the old me, the fun me. The person who was almost always smiling. In the last 18 months I've been a moody bitch but what's the point in that? It just makes me feel worse. I just hope that I carry on feeling up-beat and happy because I like the way it feels...
I feel more positive these days, my holiday helped a lot. I feel like I re-discovered the old me, the fun me. The person who was almost always smiling. In the last 18 months I've been a moody bitch but what's the point in that? It just makes me feel worse. I just hope that I carry on feeling up-beat and happy because I like the way it feels...