. a simulated suicide .

[_empty__hotel_]

"..my mind races with all my longings, but cant keep up with what i got.." -bright eyes

it's sad to me, when i can't even depend on myself anymore.
i feel broken inside all over again.
and i'm so tired of my restless nights.
i don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.

i'll push everyone away.
and revel in my loneliness.

being alone and being lonely are 2 different things.

i hate being medicated.
i hate being sick.
i have a racing pacing mind.

i want to do everything and nothing all at once.

i'm secure.
i have low self esteem.
but i'm not impressionable.

i know i'm creative.
that doesn't mean i think i'm good at it.

i'm complex.
not a cliche "no one understands me" child.
i like the fact it's hard to "get" me.

i feel like i'm running around with a suffocating cage locked around my head.
i like spacing out.
i live in my own little world.
i like it that way.
i'm not all here anyways.
i don't expect anyone to know where i'm coming from.

"make believe is much too fun"-eisley

"time is running, its running on empty and the gas is running out"-underoath
so, welcome to behind my searching empty eyes.
it's a crazy world in there.

.its just a matter of time before i snap.
.and i'd half expect none of you to witness it.
.such a beautiful disaster.