the weird thing is, usually my mom and I get along almost perfectly. which makes this hurt even more
so, the biggest reason my mom is totally against this whole thing is that she thinks we're being completely irresponsible. she told me that, straight up.
let's hold off on the whole "I could be being *really* irresponsible..." thing. that doesn't go anywhere.
anyway, she seems to disapprove of deven's mom's position, which is the more reasonable approach of "I think this situation is less than ideal - you should graduate/have steady jobs first - but I'm going to do my best to see to it that it will be as ideal as it can be, with that one condition missing."
we're not doing something immoral, for heaven's sake. it's not like his mom is enabling us to do something wrong. but my mom doesn't want to give us an inch. his mom wants to meet with us every so often to discuss wedding stuff, which is fine and dandy by me - it's someone else I can talk the ear off of, so that you guys can recover yours for the next salvo - but when I told my mom about that... whoo. it seemed to be like a lot of the goodwill and camaraderie initiated by their first meeting deflated.
I don't want to admit defeat, either by putting off the wedding or by shutting my mom out of it. I keep hoping that as long as I talk to her and try to convince her with actions and numbers then maybe she'll come around.
***interlude while I bawl, and call deven, and get calmed down***
so yeah. one one hand, she's my mom, and maybe I'm being a bad daughter for not doing what she says, and for feeling really mad about it sometimes and thinking up big dramatic yelling speeches in my head, and contemplating shutting her out of the whole thing. on the other hand, if I did acquiesce, I wouldn't be able to live with myself because Deven and I can barely stand not being married, and I'd feel like I'd cheated and failed both of us.
sometimes I feel like this is all my fight, because it's with my mom, so naturally I'm the one who interacts with her the most, and fear the brunt of the conversational wranglings. but then I talk to deven and remember that there's two of us, and he *is* on my side and *does* care and *wants* to do something about all this. and he *will*.
whoa-emm-gee am I in love with him.
anyway. I don't know what to do about it anymore. I am seriously at the end of my tether. I am about to break down because I have this mother/fiance(myself) Titanomachy going on inside myself and it's bringing in all the artillery - heart and mind.
is this really a case of "you have no degree, you're being irresponsible. period." or is there a way to be responsible while still getting married in college? are we really crazy to be doing this?
and if we are crazy and stupid and irresponsible, and there's nothing we can do about it, and we're doomed to certain failure... do you still love us?
=v.v=
let's hold off on the whole "I could be being *really* irresponsible..." thing. that doesn't go anywhere.
anyway, she seems to disapprove of deven's mom's position, which is the more reasonable approach of "I think this situation is less than ideal - you should graduate/have steady jobs first - but I'm going to do my best to see to it that it will be as ideal as it can be, with that one condition missing."
we're not doing something immoral, for heaven's sake. it's not like his mom is enabling us to do something wrong. but my mom doesn't want to give us an inch. his mom wants to meet with us every so often to discuss wedding stuff, which is fine and dandy by me - it's someone else I can talk the ear off of, so that you guys can recover yours for the next salvo - but when I told my mom about that... whoo. it seemed to be like a lot of the goodwill and camaraderie initiated by their first meeting deflated.
I don't want to admit defeat, either by putting off the wedding or by shutting my mom out of it. I keep hoping that as long as I talk to her and try to convince her with actions and numbers then maybe she'll come around.
***interlude while I bawl, and call deven, and get calmed down***
so yeah. one one hand, she's my mom, and maybe I'm being a bad daughter for not doing what she says, and for feeling really mad about it sometimes and thinking up big dramatic yelling speeches in my head, and contemplating shutting her out of the whole thing. on the other hand, if I did acquiesce, I wouldn't be able to live with myself because Deven and I can barely stand not being married, and I'd feel like I'd cheated and failed both of us.
sometimes I feel like this is all my fight, because it's with my mom, so naturally I'm the one who interacts with her the most, and fear the brunt of the conversational wranglings. but then I talk to deven and remember that there's two of us, and he *is* on my side and *does* care and *wants* to do something about all this. and he *will*.
whoa-emm-gee am I in love with him.
anyway. I don't know what to do about it anymore. I am seriously at the end of my tether. I am about to break down because I have this mother/fiance(myself) Titanomachy going on inside myself and it's bringing in all the artillery - heart and mind.
is this really a case of "you have no degree, you're being irresponsible. period." or is there a way to be responsible while still getting married in college? are we really crazy to be doing this?
and if we are crazy and stupid and irresponsible, and there's nothing we can do about it, and we're doomed to certain failure... do you still love us?
=v.v=