"I know I'm leaving, but I don't know where to..."
I was doing so well with life, but, it feels like everything just fell apart recently. I have a bad habit of putting too much faith in people. I can't help it because I need to believe everyone in inherently good. I have so little faith in humanity as it stands. I feel like all the good in the world is like water, and the more I try to grasp it, the more it spills through my fingers. I wish I could have froze time, like I could water, and kept things good while I was young and naive.
I'm still naive, and I always will be, but everything around me always feels like it's forcing me to see the light of the world, and that there is no hope. I fight so hard against it, and always try to be the nicest person that anyone has ever met because I don't know how else to act. I put a lot of my soul into people around me, only to have it thrown away like a used tissue.
I have amazing friends, good ones, that treat people well. That would prefer that they be hurt than hurt someone else, but, even some of them are waking up to the world around us and losing their purity. Not all of them though, and those that aren't, I thank you for being strong.
I have never understood why the world has to be such a bad place. I can find so much good in it most of the time, but, it's times like these when I feel suicidal, but, don't worry. There is no way I could ever try that again, because, it hurts too many people that care.
Times like these, I pray that god, or whatever higher power there is could relieve me of what I've been given, or let me know what my purpose is here. I've tried to kill myself so many times, and been through so many things that I shouldn't have lived through, that I just don't know why I'm here.
In closing, I just want to say that I wish I could make the world a better place that I feel confortable living in. And, until the day I die, I will keep trying to do so. I wish people would take a look back once in a while and look around, because I'm sure if they did, they would see something they could make better.
"Do everything with a mind that lets go. Do not expect praise or reward." - Achaan Chah
"Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds." - George Eliot
I'm still naive, and I always will be, but everything around me always feels like it's forcing me to see the light of the world, and that there is no hope. I fight so hard against it, and always try to be the nicest person that anyone has ever met because I don't know how else to act. I put a lot of my soul into people around me, only to have it thrown away like a used tissue.
I have amazing friends, good ones, that treat people well. That would prefer that they be hurt than hurt someone else, but, even some of them are waking up to the world around us and losing their purity. Not all of them though, and those that aren't, I thank you for being strong.
I have never understood why the world has to be such a bad place. I can find so much good in it most of the time, but, it's times like these when I feel suicidal, but, don't worry. There is no way I could ever try that again, because, it hurts too many people that care.
Times like these, I pray that god, or whatever higher power there is could relieve me of what I've been given, or let me know what my purpose is here. I've tried to kill myself so many times, and been through so many things that I shouldn't have lived through, that I just don't know why I'm here.
In closing, I just want to say that I wish I could make the world a better place that I feel confortable living in. And, until the day I die, I will keep trying to do so. I wish people would take a look back once in a while and look around, because I'm sure if they did, they would see something they could make better.
"Do everything with a mind that lets go. Do not expect praise or reward." - Achaan Chah
"Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds." - George Eliot