"Forget me, It's that simple..."
I've been really run down lately. Every time I think I've caught my breath and I can deal with life, I get hit in the stomach and someone knocks the wind out of me again.
I'm so tired of being told how to live my life, and what I should and shouldn't do. I want to learn from people, but, I don't want the lecture. There's a time and place for everything. And with my life the way it is right now, that time and place have nothing to do with me as far as I'm concerned.
The more I write in this journal, the more I feel like I am writing a story. I feel like this isn't my life. Or that maybe it shouldn't be my life. I've had the best of times and I've had the worst of times.
I can think of times in my life that were so grand that they would dwarf the things that people dream of doing. I've also had times so bad, that I'm sure if someone else had to deal with them, they wouldn't make it out alive.
I seriously have no other way to describe how I feel with my life right now, then out of breath.
I keep trying to find that second wind, but, someone threw me in a pool, and is holding me under. (which actually reminds me of a Dane Cook line) "Get back in the firey water!!!
I think I need to cut down on my drinking.
Words I'm sure most of you thought you'd never hear.
No one wants to be with an alcoholic. And I feel like it's really been taking a toll on me. And it doesn't even make me feel better like it used to. I think alot of it had to do with the people I was drinking with.
Everyone tells me that they care about me, and I know it's true. (For the most part.) I just feel so weird inside lately. I feel more of a connection from people I've never met before, then from people I know.
"I'm more alone with you, then when I'm by myself" - The Ataris
But this isn't always the case. There are people that can be around me no matter what mood I'm in, and alot of you know who you are, and alot of times, I don't let you know if you're one of these people. But, I'm in a rut right now. I feel like I'd rather stay in most of the time lately.
I don't know what to do with myself.
"For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause for breath,
And love itself have rest."
-Lord Byron-
"You can take from every experience what it has to offer you. And you cannot be defeated if you just keep taking one breath followed by another."
-Oprah Winfrey-
"A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away."
-Unknown-
I'm so tired of being told how to live my life, and what I should and shouldn't do. I want to learn from people, but, I don't want the lecture. There's a time and place for everything. And with my life the way it is right now, that time and place have nothing to do with me as far as I'm concerned.
The more I write in this journal, the more I feel like I am writing a story. I feel like this isn't my life. Or that maybe it shouldn't be my life. I've had the best of times and I've had the worst of times.
I can think of times in my life that were so grand that they would dwarf the things that people dream of doing. I've also had times so bad, that I'm sure if someone else had to deal with them, they wouldn't make it out alive.
I seriously have no other way to describe how I feel with my life right now, then out of breath.
I keep trying to find that second wind, but, someone threw me in a pool, and is holding me under. (which actually reminds me of a Dane Cook line) "Get back in the firey water!!!
I think I need to cut down on my drinking.
Words I'm sure most of you thought you'd never hear.
No one wants to be with an alcoholic. And I feel like it's really been taking a toll on me. And it doesn't even make me feel better like it used to. I think alot of it had to do with the people I was drinking with.
Everyone tells me that they care about me, and I know it's true. (For the most part.) I just feel so weird inside lately. I feel more of a connection from people I've never met before, then from people I know.
"I'm more alone with you, then when I'm by myself" - The Ataris
But this isn't always the case. There are people that can be around me no matter what mood I'm in, and alot of you know who you are, and alot of times, I don't let you know if you're one of these people. But, I'm in a rut right now. I feel like I'd rather stay in most of the time lately.
I don't know what to do with myself.
"For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause for breath,
And love itself have rest."
-Lord Byron-
"You can take from every experience what it has to offer you. And you cannot be defeated if you just keep taking one breath followed by another."
-Oprah Winfrey-
"A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away."
-Unknown-