Cuz I'm a million different people from one day to the next....
It's been a while hasn't it? I never post in here anymore..but let's face it, it's always been sporadic anyways.
This isn't going to be long because I have 800 thoughts and they don't want to come out today. Probably because I'm too busy singing my own personal covers of Alice in Chains songs and driving my sister nuts. I kept singing Down in a Hole and she decided she liked it so she got it as a ringtone but then I kept singing it and she said it confused her because every time I sang it she thought her phone was ringing. HA! So then she changed her ringtone to something other than a grungy depressing song...
I heard from Tyler the other day. He texted me. I have not talked to him since July. I haven't contacted him, responded to his messages, anything. I just needed some space from him. Finally. We were so close for so long but it was suffocatingly close. Codependently close. And talking to him just brought back all the bad and all the cravings and made me literally want to crash my car into the wall because I was in so much emotional pain. So I pretty much just disappeared.
He texted me and was like where the hell are you? I thought something happened to you. So I decided I'd break the silence. He seems to be doing well which made me relieved to hear.
I hate the fact that if we were hanging out and stuff we would just get into a lot of trouble. It's better now...but he brings out this immature instinct in me that I really hate...thus, I've been going another way for now. It was good to talk to him though. It's weird to go from living with someone and seeing them literally all day every day to not seeing them since April.
But I'm trying not to dwell on the past.
I need to fix something that I've wanted to for a while I just don't know where to begin or what to say or how to do it.
Sigh.
This isn't going to be long because I have 800 thoughts and they don't want to come out today. Probably because I'm too busy singing my own personal covers of Alice in Chains songs and driving my sister nuts. I kept singing Down in a Hole and she decided she liked it so she got it as a ringtone but then I kept singing it and she said it confused her because every time I sang it she thought her phone was ringing. HA! So then she changed her ringtone to something other than a grungy depressing song...
I heard from Tyler the other day. He texted me. I have not talked to him since July. I haven't contacted him, responded to his messages, anything. I just needed some space from him. Finally. We were so close for so long but it was suffocatingly close. Codependently close. And talking to him just brought back all the bad and all the cravings and made me literally want to crash my car into the wall because I was in so much emotional pain. So I pretty much just disappeared.
He texted me and was like where the hell are you? I thought something happened to you. So I decided I'd break the silence. He seems to be doing well which made me relieved to hear.
I hate the fact that if we were hanging out and stuff we would just get into a lot of trouble. It's better now...but he brings out this immature instinct in me that I really hate...thus, I've been going another way for now. It was good to talk to him though. It's weird to go from living with someone and seeing them literally all day every day to not seeing them since April.
But I'm trying not to dwell on the past.
I need to fix something that I've wanted to for a while I just don't know where to begin or what to say or how to do it.
Sigh.