oh boy
yeah well lifes going to suck for a while.
i just got home from josh's and i come home and my parents are like at war
once again. idk whats going to happen anymore im tryin to stay calm and happy
but idk anymore. idk like how to feel anymore. theres jus so much emotions for like
everything. so much like to say about my mom and my dad and just so many explinations
for so many things. idk it hurts when ur families been falling apart since u were born
i just heard my mom crying, my mom never cries unless shes really hurt.
idk what to do anymore i really dont :-\. i tried calming my dad down and like talkin to him
but he was jus like 'bla bla bla bla' and sayin all this stuff about devorce and he seriously
like almost started crying. my mom and dad are both torn up inside. along with me. none of us
get along anymore. i mean my dad has a problem aside from like the fighting problem.
this problem probably causes most of the fighting but whatever. he tries to like ..
be right about EVERYTHING. he cant be right about everything in life. hes wrong sometimes too
idk and my mom jus cant take his bullshit anymore i guess and hes turned her into such a bitter person.
but from all of this i have my eyes open extra wide. i know what the world is about, i know what people
are about. i know what to look out for. idk i guess you can say im not ur average 15 yr old daughter,
that goes sleeping around and doing drugs and shit and thinking thats what lifes all about. idk i like
to like think about shit and relize alot of shit and alot of my surroundings. relize like
what can i do now to like make myself better. im ALWAYS looking to make myself better.
i hate feeling like someones looking down on my and thinkin im a bad person. i know im a good person
and i know i care about other peoples feelings way too much. i cant help it. i care so much about my friends too
i try and do anything i possinly cant not to hurt them. they are like all i have really.
the only people i get along with and the only people i can talk to. why would i take that for granted?
idk some people seem to think im this like girl that is just a bitch. well sometimes i am a bitch
sorry if ive been dicked over way too many times to even count. idk and if i hurt one of my friends
i never meant it. i love them more than the world. so if your like one of my friends right now
reading this, idk jus relize that i love like all my friends even tho some piss me off, dont get me wrong
ha no ones perfect but whatever ya know. idkk and jus sittin here thinkin right now i jus lost 2 of my closest friends
really hurts. but one of them i really can care less about right now. he jus doesnt know what to do with himself i think
idk. but the other one was like my big sister. im not sure if i lost her as a friend yet but i think im pretty close
i love her to death i wish she relized that and relized im not just bullshitting. idk.
yeah another subject to rant about, idk schools going better for me. they are saying they wanna send me to court
they gotta be fuckin jokin me. idk im sick of so much bullshit. they wanna send me to court for 'cutting' im always in fuckin class.
which is shit im always in class. ughh whatever.
yeahh idkkk thers also this person that i can tell is going to become veryyy special to me. hahh. idk
they make me smile a whole lot i guess you can say. and idk. they're jus someone i can have alot of fun with
jus layin there doin like nothing. im hoping things will work out for me for once. i feel like its my turn
to find someone right for me. every other time i just get screwed over. like im not good enough.
but sorry for sounding all high about myself but sometimes im jus too good for them so fuck it.
thats the only way to move on now-a-dayyyss. ha (i sound so oldd "now-a-dayyss") but yeah its true
the way u do shit now and get over shit is by like sayin to urself 'well im too good for them'
and like beleiving in urself idk u get no where in life without beleiving in urself
and i hate people that go around tryin to put anyone down that they can
everyone should jus leave everyone alone and let everyone jus be proud who they are
im sick of all this fighting i wish everyone got along
yeah there are some days where im liek I HATEE EVERYONEEE
and im bein all pissy and ranting how i hate everything but i guess i jus have bad days
idk i think even if i had like the choice to move anywherei wanted to i dont know if i would. theres people here
i consider my family. even tho its not that many people but yeah so i guess i have a small family.
ha. idk i guess i try to be mrs. fix-it all the time . i guess i jus want everything in life to be good
idkkkk. but yeah enough ranting about shit. idk. ima go...byebye
i just got home from josh's and i come home and my parents are like at war
once again. idk whats going to happen anymore im tryin to stay calm and happy
but idk anymore. idk like how to feel anymore. theres jus so much emotions for like
everything. so much like to say about my mom and my dad and just so many explinations
for so many things. idk it hurts when ur families been falling apart since u were born
i just heard my mom crying, my mom never cries unless shes really hurt.
idk what to do anymore i really dont :-\. i tried calming my dad down and like talkin to him
but he was jus like 'bla bla bla bla' and sayin all this stuff about devorce and he seriously
like almost started crying. my mom and dad are both torn up inside. along with me. none of us
get along anymore. i mean my dad has a problem aside from like the fighting problem.
this problem probably causes most of the fighting but whatever. he tries to like ..
be right about EVERYTHING. he cant be right about everything in life. hes wrong sometimes too
idk and my mom jus cant take his bullshit anymore i guess and hes turned her into such a bitter person.
but from all of this i have my eyes open extra wide. i know what the world is about, i know what people
are about. i know what to look out for. idk i guess you can say im not ur average 15 yr old daughter,
that goes sleeping around and doing drugs and shit and thinking thats what lifes all about. idk i like
to like think about shit and relize alot of shit and alot of my surroundings. relize like
what can i do now to like make myself better. im ALWAYS looking to make myself better.
i hate feeling like someones looking down on my and thinkin im a bad person. i know im a good person
and i know i care about other peoples feelings way too much. i cant help it. i care so much about my friends too
i try and do anything i possinly cant not to hurt them. they are like all i have really.
the only people i get along with and the only people i can talk to. why would i take that for granted?
idk some people seem to think im this like girl that is just a bitch. well sometimes i am a bitch
sorry if ive been dicked over way too many times to even count. idk and if i hurt one of my friends
i never meant it. i love them more than the world. so if your like one of my friends right now
reading this, idk jus relize that i love like all my friends even tho some piss me off, dont get me wrong
ha no ones perfect but whatever ya know. idkk and jus sittin here thinkin right now i jus lost 2 of my closest friends
really hurts. but one of them i really can care less about right now. he jus doesnt know what to do with himself i think
idk. but the other one was like my big sister. im not sure if i lost her as a friend yet but i think im pretty close
i love her to death i wish she relized that and relized im not just bullshitting. idk.
yeah another subject to rant about, idk schools going better for me. they are saying they wanna send me to court
they gotta be fuckin jokin me. idk im sick of so much bullshit. they wanna send me to court for 'cutting' im always in fuckin class.
which is shit im always in class. ughh whatever.
yeahh idkkk thers also this person that i can tell is going to become veryyy special to me. hahh. idk
they make me smile a whole lot i guess you can say. and idk. they're jus someone i can have alot of fun with
jus layin there doin like nothing. im hoping things will work out for me for once. i feel like its my turn
to find someone right for me. every other time i just get screwed over. like im not good enough.
but sorry for sounding all high about myself but sometimes im jus too good for them so fuck it.
thats the only way to move on now-a-dayyyss. ha (i sound so oldd "now-a-dayyss") but yeah its true
the way u do shit now and get over shit is by like sayin to urself 'well im too good for them'
and like beleiving in urself idk u get no where in life without beleiving in urself
and i hate people that go around tryin to put anyone down that they can
everyone should jus leave everyone alone and let everyone jus be proud who they are
im sick of all this fighting i wish everyone got along
yeah there are some days where im liek I HATEE EVERYONEEE
and im bein all pissy and ranting how i hate everything but i guess i jus have bad days
idk i think even if i had like the choice to move anywherei wanted to i dont know if i would. theres people here
i consider my family. even tho its not that many people but yeah so i guess i have a small family.
ha. idk i guess i try to be mrs. fix-it all the time . i guess i jus want everything in life to be good
idkkkk. but yeah enough ranting about shit. idk. ima go...byebye