Don't think so much, kitties.
So I'm on the computer, aye? And at about 9:30 or so, give or take a few minutes, I get a call from Vince's house. It's Alec. And he asks me to call in a favor for him, so you know, I see what I can do. I couldn't get it to happen so when he calls back I tell him. Calmly. I don't bitch. I don't scream. I don't do anything out of the ordinary for me, keep in mind Alec fucked up and lost 10$ dollars of my money, and in turn caused me to be out 10$, and my father wants to know where the money went, AND I've been without a cigarette for two days. But now, I'm nice about it. Didn't do anything. Kind of sighed, brought it up VERY subtly, you know, just so he would get hte fact that I was a little upset about it, right? Whatever though, he says he'll call me in the morning, and let me know what's going on so we can hang out.
So I'm thinking everything is cool between me and him.
Well, it's almost 11 o'clock, and I have yet to receive a call.
I know most of you kids think that 11:00AM is still early, but every time there is no school, and I hear, "I'll call you in the morning to let you know what's going on," I am called, up, ready, and out the door by 9.
So ok, maybe they just forgot?
Maybe he just doesn't want to hang out with me?
Maybe I totally fucked up in letting what happened happen, and now things between me and him are weird.
I was over this feeling last night.
And now I'm feeling it again.
It's a feeling I can't pinpoint the name of, and it's in the pit of my stomach.
I told Ryan about it, and he said, "Maybe it's a good feeling."
I dunno..
Is it good when you have what feels like a 'knot' in your stomach, and it brings a lump in your throat, and your eyes are ready to cry but are so dry no tears come out? Because if it's good, then this feeling is wonderful.