(no subject)
I feel pretty crappy today. I feel apathetic kindof. I think.. uhh I don't really know what's going on. I had a friend tell me that he's been a fake and he's not really a Christian, which I don't believe. I think he is just going through a lot of guilt and stress because he feels that he's not a good christian or something. I think it's coming from not resting in God. He always has to be the best at everything. He makes me really uptight. But I'm pretty sure that God is breaking him. He is such an independent person, and gets really mad when people tell him what to do. I think after talking with him I started to see some of the same patterns in my heart. I get real mad at God when I feel like he is always looking down at me. I wish I could have a more rested mind. I get so anxious when I don't want to have devotions I feel like screaming the F word like a little kid. My prayer life sucks. I know King David was pretty depressed in a good amount of his Psalms, and Martin Luther was depressed even though he clung so tightly to being saved by faith alone, so that is encouraging. I hear God brings abundant renewal after depressing times. I hope so.