(no subject)
so tyler broke up with me the other night.
right out of nowhere ,like im talking one minute we are watching tv cuddling talking about taking a bath together and what to do that evening next minute talking about how he doesnt want to be in a relationship that he doesnt need the responsibility of it and how he just wants to be single.
broke my heart.
anyway whats really confusing is that he tells me all this and yet he still calls, he still tells me he misses me, he still tells me he loves me big time, he still wants to hang out with me.
so me being an idiot hangs out with him yesterday we went suit shopping to find him a suit for a wedding he has to go to today, then got something to eat went back to the apartment (which was weird being there. . . FYI: for those of you who didnt know we were living together) he still acts like normal to me hugging me, holding my hand, kissing me and my forehead, cuddling me. we went and seen devils rejects. . . sidenote: really great movie. . . had a great time and we get in the car and hes like "now i know we are both single right now . . .meanwhile im thinking 'we are?!, so doesnt feel like it.' he goes on "but i just want to let you know im still going to get jealous and be protective of you, thats going to take time to fade."
can someone say WHAT THE HELL?! i dont get this and everytime im like hes just making this harder on me by acting like we are together when he doesnt think we are and i tell myself dont answer his calls dont text him. . . yet when he calls i do answer and i still text him with ' i miss you so much.'
i need to be strong but where do i find that strength?
im so lost.
so depressed. . .so lonely.
i take pills to make me go to sleep so i dont have to think about life.
im as good as dead.
right out of nowhere ,like im talking one minute we are watching tv cuddling talking about taking a bath together and what to do that evening next minute talking about how he doesnt want to be in a relationship that he doesnt need the responsibility of it and how he just wants to be single.
broke my heart.
anyway whats really confusing is that he tells me all this and yet he still calls, he still tells me he misses me, he still tells me he loves me big time, he still wants to hang out with me.
so me being an idiot hangs out with him yesterday we went suit shopping to find him a suit for a wedding he has to go to today, then got something to eat went back to the apartment (which was weird being there. . . FYI: for those of you who didnt know we were living together) he still acts like normal to me hugging me, holding my hand, kissing me and my forehead, cuddling me. we went and seen devils rejects. . . sidenote: really great movie. . . had a great time and we get in the car and hes like "now i know we are both single right now . . .meanwhile im thinking 'we are?!, so doesnt feel like it.' he goes on "but i just want to let you know im still going to get jealous and be protective of you, thats going to take time to fade."
can someone say WHAT THE HELL?! i dont get this and everytime im like hes just making this harder on me by acting like we are together when he doesnt think we are and i tell myself dont answer his calls dont text him. . . yet when he calls i do answer and i still text him with ' i miss you so much.'
i need to be strong but where do i find that strength?
im so lost.
so depressed. . .so lonely.
i take pills to make me go to sleep so i dont have to think about life.
im as good as dead.